Happy New Year's Eve!

Going out to dinner with dad's side of the family. Kbye.

Just a few drinks to get me through the night.

I'm in love.

FNQWewerB. I can't even. I'm in love with Minho from The Maze Runner- James Dashner. If he dies, i'm going to drown myself in my tears. I just can't even.

Reading The Maze Runner & watching Skins. I don't know what to do with myself.

Feeling like craaaaaap today.

fwBNrb'nWERG Fuck you, mother nature.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A GIRL?
WHY DO I HAVE A VAGINA? WHY IS BLOOD COMING OUT OF IT? FUUUUUU-

;sB?mersb -_____-

Kill. Yourself. Please.

That's all i want. Please. Please. Please.

Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.

PLEASE.

Hi from Great America with awkward smiles & beautiful lights.

It was extremely cold there. My hands were so cold, they felt like they were burning &I couldn't feel my toes.

EFBNWe'bnefbAWEF

I hate my hair so so much.

Should i grow it out or chop it off? Decisions, decisions.

lol It's Christmas and I'm wishing death on some specific people.

I'm a horrible person but i don't care.

MY FUCKING STUPID FATHER NEEDS TO STOP DRUNK DIALING ME AND SAYING STUPID ASS SHIT. He is a pathetic excuse for a human being and a waste of space. It wouldn't make the slightest difference to me if he dropped dead. All he does is sit on his lazy ass and get drunk all day. He's been unemployed for 3 fucking years and keeps making excuses for why he can't or won't get a job. Piss off. #endrant.

(:

That feeling you get when you read a extremely good book that takes you to another world and makes you forget your own problems for the time. When the characters in the book seem like friends of yours and it's just impossible to stop reading.

Just finished The Maze Runner. Neeed the second book ASAP!

I'd hate to say this on Christmas buuuut..

my grandma needs to die. The sooner the better. :D
Merry Christmas, everyone! (:

Snuggled up w/hot chocolate and a movie.

&just came back from seeing the pretty Christmas lights at Great America. Almost froze my hands and feet off. ): Pictures later? Sleeeepy.

I hate this stupid family.

Getting some of that Holiday cheer. (:

What makes me happy?

I've been feeling shitty and my posts have been negative lately so let's make a list of what makes me happy.(:

• Adventures with friends.
• Laughing 'till my cheeks hurt and my stomach hurts.
• Christmas songs!

or obnoxious singing in general. LOL.

• Theatre.
• Fooooooooooood.
• Pokemon.
• Tea &coffee.
• Shopping!
• Reading a good book.
• Bright, sunny days.
• Compliments.
• Good hair days.
• Animals.
• Cute things.
• Nail polish.
• Lazy days.
• Vacations.

Yeah, i can't think of anymore. Bye.

Christmas songs make me happy.

Why is it that I am sad on the most beautiful of days?

Maybe sad isn't the word. It's more of a "I don't give a shit about anything. Let me stay in bed all day and die."

I hope I don't wake up in the morning.


I'm going fucking crazy.

So Teresa.

I'm fucking annoyed with your dumbass so I'm going to vent.

It started when we were young. 
Younger one gets all the fucking attention. 
Younger one gets all the love.
Younger one gets whatever she wants. 
Younger one gets fucking picked and fought over by both parents in the divorce. Yeah, I'm still bitter.
Younger is always the favorite. Don't even try to deny it. Shut your fatass up cause you know it's true.
It's more convenient. She looks up to you. Well, she doesn't know better. Fucking bullshit.
It pisses me off when you do something that I claim to be mine. I like a specific type of music, so do you. I started playing guitar, you did too. I started singing, whoopdeefuckingdoo. Guess who else started. And now Theatre. REALLY? Oh, I got a role in the musical blahblah. Get the fuck out.
Oh, another 4.0 on my report card. Oh, I'm applying for SOTA. Oh, in going to Lowell. OKAY BITCH, I fucking get it.
I'm fucking used to being second best. 

&you're never gonna read this because although you're up in your friends shit 24/7, you never have the decency to check up on me.

Maybe it's time to get some sleep. Fuck this shit.

Whatever i do, you just have to do better, right?

Fuck you. Drop dead, bitch.

Thank god for cheat sheets.

The thing is, i wrote all that i needed to and i have the whole backside. ._.

Jessica is not a happy girl right now.

All work and no play makes Jessica a dull girl.

I am too fucking stressed right now. I'm regretting that I didn't study. There is just nothing good about today. It's cold. I don't have Theatre. Finals are tomorrow. Jeez. This needs to end. I can't wait until finals are over and it's break time. My grades are suffering. ._. I don't know what to do with myself right now.

Oh but I found something funny in Mimi's planner. LOL.

Kbye.

OoS Youth Summit. (:

Great day today.

Got there at 11:00 to help set up. Rehearsal, i was soooooo hungry. Got food afterwards and watched the performances. Children dancing. Truthtopia. Alfie tried to liven the crowd by clapping but it only worked a little bit. Some of the kids looked so happy dancing. D'aww. How precious. LOL when we were watching Trithtopia, the father was black, the mom was white, an the kid was Hispanic. I told Nick and he was like "STFU I'm filming." I'm an idiot.(: The crowd is way too dry. I cut my legs up and i don't know how. ._. Really proud of the Theatre kids. There were definitely some mess ups and room for improvement but still. Proud of myself too. I gave it my all today. Dry ass crowd though. Me &Katherine tried to liven it. Walked with Edgar &Teresa after. Teresa took some soda with her before she left too! LOL. We had good talks. From hobo piss perfume to the past and the future to socialism and the world. I miss him so much! He's so grown up now. (': He has his shit together. I wish i did. q/vfnvwQEFN. He waited for the 14L with me and then left. Teresa recorded our whole performance and I'm watching it over and over. (: Went to Walgreens then went home.

WERBNweb. Need to study for finals but I'm way too lazy. ._.

I kind of like this one.

._.

I'm too fucking stressed out.

SATprep.
YAB.
Coro.
Performance.
Finals.
Homeowork.

All in one week.

Please come sooner, winter break.

Does she look at you the way i do; try to understand the words that you say and the way that you move?
Does she get the same big rush when you go in for a hug and your cheeks brush?

Am i crazy?

I hate not being perfect.

I don't take criticism well. ._.

Are you wishing you were ugly like me?

Stage lights will be the death of me.

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

Let it snow.

So me and the kids at my SATprep class rearranged "Let it Snow" to Tits on Me. (without the L) Laughed so hard. LOL.

Terrible fucking day.

Woke up early and got yelled at. Had to eat at some place I fucking hate. Went to SATprep for math. Didn't understand shit. Cramps and headache. Kept us after for a few minutes so I missed my bus and had to wait half an hour for another one. In the dark. In the cold. Feeling weak and dizzy, along with cramps and headache. Nice to know my family couldn't care less. And knowing I have to do a motherfucking essay when I get home. Fuck my life.

I just really wish I were dead right now.