Looking back..

When i think about the past, i feel like a total idiot. I changed. So much. In 6th grade, i wanted nothing more than to fit in and be popular. I would lie, change, kiss up, almost anything a little 6th grader would do. I always dreamed of being a cheerleader. (-gag- What the fuck was i thinking? LMFAO.) I always wanted long, blonde hair. (Uh.. Something was definitely wrong with me.) I don't think there is a need to say that i failed. Miserably. Yeah, i couldn't even dress like them. The thing that was 'in' was 'matching'. Uh, i couldn't do that for shit. I didn't know how to match. I would google it but i still wouldn't get it. So yeah.. LMFAO.

Well, i went to a new school. And that faded but i was probably the most preppy person you could meet. And my cousin, who at that time made a big change from prep to, how do i say it, more alternative. I always told her about my prepness. I was really proud of it. She hated popularity, as i do now. But at that time, i cared about it, a lot.

And i hated how she changed. She'd rather listen to music in her room and talk about bands than make up games and talk about boys. Sound familiar, anyone? LMFAO. I would be the happiest, most energetic, most hyper person ever. I mean, i seem like i am now too. But trust me, a lot has changed.

So by 8th grade, i didn't really care about it anymore. But still had that preppy side of me. Now, i hate preps. So much, i just want to shoot myself when i see one. LMFAO. Maybe cause they remind me of my past. Or maybe cause they're annoying and obnoxious. Yeah.(: And 'popularity' is a joke. I'd rather be an outcast. I am, actually. And i wouldn't change it. At all. Funny how i wanted nothing other than to fit in. Now i want to stand out.

See, i really failed at fitting in. So who i am now, is who i want to be. For the most part, that is. My past is so embarrassing.And it resembles everything i hate. Haha.