Today...

Mmm today, me and Mimi went to school but her bus said 14L on the front and 8x on the side. LOL. Confused me for the longest time. So we went to school, i was talking to Jacky so Mimi went to go talk to Cary. Um then we went to our lockers then to class. I'm gonna skip English cause nothing interesting even happens in that class.

In Gym, we had to do crunches cause we didn't test for them yet. I was talking to Andy about how he should do 80. He was saying he couldnt because he "ain't superman". LOL i was like "Well the girls do it too." and he's all like "She's superwoman." He's just a weakass. Then when i do it, he kept making comments and making fun of me. LOL. I was laughing AND doing crunches at the same time. Stupid CalvinEdwardAndy.D:< But i ended up doing 80 which surprised the shit outta me.LOL.

Homeroom was boring. Sigh, Ms.Joseph never lets us talk.): In Spanish, we continued what we were doing last time. At lunch, it was raining so we wandered the halls. Went to Ms.Noll's room to talk with her sexyass. We gossiped with her about some people. LOL Ms.Noll is so cool.(: Yeep.

In health, i don't really remember what we did. We talked about middle schools though. Stanley asked me what middle school i went to and i was like "Denman." and hes like "But you're Asian." LOL. And Mr.Pepper told me to shut up so many times.D: Then we were talking about our homeroom and how i didn't even know he and more people was in my homeroom. It ain't my fault I'm staring at my adorable lowgong all the time.xD

In Physics, we had to do the thing where we answered the questions...thing. LOL. It was pretty easy cause we cheated.xD Everyone was like "Cheaters!". Especially BestfriendChris. That bitch is just jealous that people like my burritos better. OH mine are $6.99 and his is $7.00. LOL. Mine is hella worth it.(:< But yea we won that shit. We missed two questions only.;D We all get extra credit. I hope i get a B or a C.(:

"Forever will be, you and me."

Short summary of today.

I don't feel like blogging today. But mainpoints.

-did poems and shit. Not much.

-reviewed Geo. Mr.Ellet gave me a problem and i actually could present it. Thanks Mimi.:D

-Jacky got kicked out of our homeroom. Jammy was being a pedo and touching me. LOL um finished Physics homework.

-Had sub for Spanish. Watched Toy Story in Spanish. I just wrote then asked Kelly what happened after since we had to write about it. My sentences were funny and nooby though. Like "A Woody no le gusta Buzz." "A Buzz no le gusta Woody." "A Buzz le gusta Alex." "A Alex le gusta Buzz tambien." LMFAO. I'm hella good.XD

-Lunch, we went to Ellet's and Mimi helped me do Geo problems. Made fun of Gilbert cause he spelled triangle wrong. And he didn't know what an octagon was called.XD Tried getting people's attention who were in the quad. Frank looked up and waved at me.(:

-Health, we did presentations about the protein thing. The groups presented hella badly. They were turned around and reading off the poster. I memorized my lines. Foshofosho.(:

-Physics, it was half fun, half quiet. We went into groups with my BFFs. LOL and we were joking about burritos and the border patrol. "Want some of my burrito?" LOL. Made Brendan and April do all the work.xD

-Afterschool, went to Stones with family. Saw my sisters friends. They said i looked 'emo'. HAHA. Saw Christofer Drew's picture in Hot Topic. Made my heart beat twice as hard. Seriously. LOL. My mom said Hot Topic looks scary but has cool hair extension stuff. LMFAO.

-Made my mom buy me McDonalds.

Okay bye.

"Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing is right. Nothing is right when you're gone.."

ifailatgeometry &PossessedGuy!

Urm today,  walked to school after the bell rung so i didn't have to wait around awkwardly. Went to Mr.Ellet and Mimi was asking him if she could transfer to that class. LOL. He just stared at her like, "Uh..no." LOL. Yep then she left and we had a bit confusion about the homework pages so he ended up not checking it. Thank god, cause i didn't do it. Haha. But he gave us time to work on it and i didn't get how to find the value of x. Good thing he didn't call on me. I'm lucky.(: Yea so we kinda reviewed and such the whole period...

In gym, we had to do our push up tests. It was hard cause we had to make our chest touch the ball. LOL. But Mr.Gray's class had to do it to so whatever. I was telling CalvinEdwardAndy to do 50. And he was like "Hell naw. Who do you think i am? Superman?" LMFAO. So i told him to do 25 and he said he wouldd.(: I did 14 only but i guess that alrightt. Mimi did like 8 cause Ramirez stopped her. LMFAO. Yea, Andy ended up doing 30 and he was hella pissed that Ramirez stopped him cause he was like "I ain't even tired. And she hella stopped me for no reason." And he was all sweating and shit. LMAO. That was gym, easy day.(:

Yea, homeroom was fun. We had a free day today so we can do anyshit we wanted.:D So theey played cards while i...i don't remember. LOL. But then Mark said something so i went over there to kick his ass. "Imma kick yo white ass, breh." LOLOL. Then when i came back, Jammy and his ass was on my seat. So i sat next to his soulmate, Vinson. And was all like "You jealous?" LOLOL hes hella jealous.(: Then we had a butt slapping/squeezing contest that i SOO won.(:<

In health, we had to watch this video about obese people who had eating disorders. What pissed me off was that people were laughing at them and such. It wasn't funny. That's really sad but i started laughing when Jacky whispered to me, "That's Michelle." LMFAO. Had me laughing for a few minutes. But yeah, they HAD to slow down and go up close to his mouth when hes eating. Nasty much? Ew. It made me not wanna eat ever again. Never ever again. I'm hella scared I'd end up like that someday. Sean was like "Ew that's gross." so i told him off and was like "You know you can be like that someday." and hes like "I won't. I won't even eat that much.". So I'm like "I hope you end up like that and end up having stupid ignorant people laugh at you." LMAO.

Haha, at lunch, it was like sprinkling outside so i wanted to get my umbrella. But then Kevin was at his locker so i didn't wanna get it anymore. Hung with the Asian group and Mimi just popped up with food. Wtf? LMAO. Yepp, then i forgot what we did..

Physics was hella BEAST as usual. I first walked in and said hi to my bestfriend of course. "Hii Wilson!!" Hehe. Then he looked at me and was like, "Remember when you poured sand on my hair, I took a shower last night and it was like a beach!" That made me laugh so freaking hard. I was still laughing a few minutes later when he was just staring at me like, "Wtf..." LMAO. Then i made fun of Wilson for something and was like "I love you, Wilson." and he's like "Shh don't say that out loud or everyone will get jealous." HAHAA. That shit made my day. Yep, we were talking about how that Irene girl was his soulmate and that he loved her. And Vicente told me that she wrote good poems. For Wilson. Duh. Haha.(:

Yep, we had to do the experiment and the shit got hella big then shriveled up like a ugly ass shit. LOL. I was joking around that it was Ms.Noll. Hehe. Then i went over to Janet's table and Brendan came. I accidentally spilled their water for the experiment and took Chris's pencil and pushed the marshmallow in it. LMAO. I thought it would plump back up again. Apparently not.xD

But yea, Physics is fun.:D Afterschool, i went to my locker. Kevin walked past me and waved so i said hi to Kelly and i waved at him. He put his arms out for a hug but i just kept walking, i was about to tell him i had no time if he asked but i saw Nikko and i was like "Nikko!" and hugged him. LOL I'm so nice. Uh huh, then me and Mimi walked with Jacky to Mission cause he wanted to go to GameStop and we were going to my house anyway. He picked up this worm and chased us with him. He threw it at Mimi. LMAO.

Yea after he left, me and Mimi went to SafeWay to buy food but we ended up not buying anything and going to our house. We were on the bus, and Mimi was talking to me about some pedo who took a picture of Kathleen. But when i looked to the left, i saw this one guy sitting there and his eyes were in a dead stare. It looked like he was looking right at me. He had glasses but his glasses were like falling off to his nose. He was just staring, staring, staring with an intense, scary, and blank stare. I told Mimi and we were HELLA scared. I truly think that he was possessed. Thanks for scaring the shit outta me, dude. Then a minute later, it look like he 'snapped' out of it. He started looking around and acting like a human again. Either he was asleep with his eyes open or he was possessed. Or maybe he was just staring at me. Scary shit.

Yep, at my house, we first whored around and ate. Then i curled Mimi's hair. LOL one of her sides wont curl. Seriously wtf. LOL. Yep, i curled mine too and it was crap. Haha. Then we just hanged around, gossiping and such. I fixed her bangs for her and made it thicker. I cut some strands around her face so it could frame her face. Haha then we went up to the roof and she was like "I'm scared of heights." -fp- LOL. So we took some pictures and went down to play some badminton. I got this skateboard and a soccerball that belonged to the neighbors and started playing with it. While we were playing, the garage door opened so i hurried and kicked the ball somewhere and we ran upstairs. Hey, you never know if they were the owners of the ball. LOL. Then we did our Geometry and she was teaching me. Or trying to teach me. I hella fail at geometry. Sigh. But i understood it more. Thanks hoe.(:

She stayed for dinner and then we did some more stuff on the computer and such. But she had to go so my mom drove her home. Then we went to Walgreens to buy shit for my sisters project.
The end.

"Is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete."

HOLY SHIT Dayuum. &iLoveBOB.(:

Stood in the front of school with Danillo questioning me about where Mimi was. Why does he care? It was hella awkward.-__- So the bell rang and i walked to my locker alone, after that i slapped Crystal's butt and debated with JackyT about who was more perverted

English was blah. We finally finished Rime of the Ancient Mariner. That was stupid shit. Um that's pretty much it.. English needs to get funner. Seriously. But AJ spilled all his milk and cereal to the floor. I think it was today or yesterday. LOL that shit was funny.

In geometry, we learned about some shit. I was so freaking tired. And i swear to god, my group is so dull. That shit is hard, while they sit there working, i stare at the clock. And try to understand this bullshit. When the fuck will i ever have to do this in the future? Seriously..

In homeroom, Ms.Joseph got hella fed up with us. She moved hella people around. And she was hella mad. LOL. It was pretty funny. Me and Mark had argument about how he thinks he's blacker than me. PSH. He wished. Breh, i put the black in Black.(; We can go anytime and i'll kick your white ass. LMAO.

In Spanish, me and Kelly were hella talking about...i don't remember. LOL. Then we finally started our work. I swear, Ms.BallardHanson will never put us together again.D: We talk waay too much. We never pay attention on our work. Maybe thats why i got a fucking 95% on my test.-__- So i started finishing the chapter of my Fanfic ive been working on since finals. LOL i hella forgot about it. I was getting intense, then i had to get out of that state of mind and back in Spanish. Then i had to go back in. That was pretty hard but i finished thaat and all my work.:D

At lunch, didn't wanna go outside cause it was raining. Went to the bathroom. Then we went to the Cafeteria and ate chicken nuggets cause we didn't wanna be outside and we didn't have umbrellas to stand in the rain.): Meet my new friend BOB.(: He's cool and he's superduper sexy... if only he was real. LOL. Then Danillo came over and tried to make convo with us. I swear, talking to him is so fucking awkward so i said i had to go pee. We basically ran out of there the fastest we can.

In PE, we had to play basketball with Mr.Cubales. LOL. We had to play with the fobs and while they were actually making a plan, our team was gossiping about how fobby they were. This was my suggested plan: to yell long words such as "Staircase" to distract them, and while they're looking the word up in their dictionaries, we steal the ball. LOL. Everyone loved the idea.(: But i don't think it worked. LMAO. They hella won. We were like catfighting out there and then the ball did come to us, we screeched and pushed the ball away. LMFAO. It was hella funny. We were screaming and cheering when they got a point. LOL

Yep, so obviously they won. We sat down and watched them go against the other group. We were doing the wave and screaming and cheering. Yelling "Poop" and other things when they were about to shoot to distract them. LOL. We're hella good.xD Yep, then i started singing "If you're happy and you know it clap you hands." LOL and my teamates were clapping.<3 Then i was like "If you're happy and you know it and you really wanna show it, kill yourself." They were all like.....O.o. LOL. Then i started saying "If you're pedo and you know it, touch Nguyet." LMAO. Funny shit. Then we screamed and cheered for the boys playing. DUDE, its hella intense. They were like "Get outta my way bitch." "Oh hell naw bitch." "-push-" "-grab-" LMAO. I was all like "Go sons!!" to Jason and Nikko. LOL.<3 Then "Go CALVINEDWARDANDY!!" (: That was fun. Ms.Ramirez almost made us go against them. I was like oh hell no. That's hella scary.D: LOL then me and Portmon started making fun of this one guy. LOL. It was pretty funny.xD

Then, Physics was intense. Vicente told me something that made me go like "HOLY SHIT!" inside my head of course. LOL. I just smiled at him. He was originally telling Wilson and showing him texts that his gf sent him. And then he showed me also. I'm like DAYUMM, i always thought that she was a innocent little girl. And I'm not gonna go to much detail about their shit but, I'm just gonna say..WOW. LOL and Vicente had a ziplock bag filled with condoms cause he said he didn't wanna get her pregnant. LOL then he gave me a extra large condom. LMAO TY.(: Hella people gave me condoms, and i just realized that they were all guys. LOL. I swear, i can't even be Asian and use these condoms instead of buying some. These stuff will expire in 3-4 years. And I'm not planning to have sex in the next 3-4 years. So..LOL. I'd probably end up giving them to someone or playing with them.xD

But yea, Physics is hella fun now.xD We started to do this one lab where we have to shake the bottles filled with water and sand. At first, me and Wilson were doing it but he said i was hella slow. So we made Vicente do the lab. He had to shake it vigoriously for 3 minutes straight. LOOL he was HELLA fast duude. He got hella tired and started slowing down. By that time, i was already on my feet yelling, "Come on. Just a little more. Fasteer, come on!!" LMAO. It was hella funny. Then we did it with the water and i kept wiping the wet thermometer thing on Wilson's face. He knocked it out of my hand and it broke on the floor. Stupidass.-__- Yep, so i kept harassing him throughout the period. Fun shit. After that, i squeezed his ass.<3

Mhmm, i went to my locker, then i went to talk to Nikko about how good he was in basketball and how scary it looked. He told me that EdwardCalvinAndy hella pushed this one guy out of the way. LMAO. I told him that he was BEAST.:D Then i asked him where Jason was cause he usually is there. After that, i went outside and got all wet.:D And i told Jammy that this one fat girl with a bad haircut was really hot. Teehee.(:

LOL kay bye.(:

"We had too much time, too much us. So we fought like tomorrow was promised."

Wake Up!!

-Scoff- You're pathetic. You do all these little shit just to taunt us? To tease us? Its like you WANT to see us react to something you do. Really? I swear to god, you're getting really goddamn annoying. You need a reality check cause no one cares anymore. I ain't playing your stupid little games anymore. But what you did was just low.

I swear to god, you really need a reality check. You're living in a fantasy world right now. You need a slap back to reality. You really enjoy doing little shit just to make us mad. Like little comments and messages kind of meant for us to read. That's stupid. You're stupid. I can't believe i wasted so much time and tears on you.

I never thought I'd say this but.. Fuck you. You're pathetic..
Nothing personal.(:

Love Audio Summer.(:
I'm holding you, i feel you breathe. I miss you more than anything.
I look at you and i say, "Baby baby, are you gonna be alright?"
She puts her arms around me, and then she starts to cry.
I said, "I will always love you, no matter where this goes. And you don't have to say a word cause i already know."
What do you say to her when everything you say, she said "You're breaking my heart."
And i said, "You broke mine first..."
She said, "I miss you and i swear i mean that."
I said, "I love you, but you won't understand. I can't be with you and I'm so sorry. I'll really miss you. And when you need me, I'll be there.."
There needs to be more boys that feel this way.^^ (:

Nothing special..

Today was nothing special. I rode the 14 and saw Mimi's bus and i could've got on but it was hella full and people were still getting on it so i said "Screw it.." and walked instead. I met that hoe down at the bus stop and we walked to school together. We walked to school talking about...i don't know what. No wait, i remember. About Jacky and his icecream Cake and how we were gonna go to his house and grab all his food. LMAO. Yea, and something about having leftover ink?

Urm, we got to school and... don't remember, actually. So we went to our lockers then to class. Yeep, English was normal. We read more of the Rime of The Ancient Mariner. Yup. It was normal, as always. That class needs to get more interesting. Swear to god. Same shit everyday.-__-

After English, i walked down with Mimi and Jacky. I hugged Jacky goodbye and when i let go, i saw Michelle looking at us with pure disgust and annoyance. LMFAO. Her face was so funny. So me, Jacky, and Mimi were hella making fun of her face. LOL. We're nice.xD Yea, so i went to Geo and in the first 10 minutes, Mr.Ellet moved me and Jason.): I got moved to the front. I hate that table. They're all so smart and they never talk. So I'm sitting there hella lost while they're like doing their shit. Sigh, Mr.Ellet says that i could move back after the quiz/test, which is on Thursday. So basically, i have to sit there this whole week. Sigh, fml.-__-

Homeroom was nothing new. We talked a bit with Ms.Joseph telling us to shut up. Um, we talked about Ms.Ramirez's homework and stuff. I did a conclusion and tried to make my essay look longer. LOL. Then i did my Spanish Immersion homework. Yeup, that's abouut it.(:

I got an 95% on my Spanish test. I swear to god, i fail so damn badly.-__- Even SEAN got a 100% and he's a dumbass.-_____- I hate this. Why did i forgot to but an "A" in front of the people.): I feel like such a retard. But yea, after that, i played battleship with Kelly in Spanish. We talked about how she never participates in Ms.Daves class cause she's like scared of her. LOL.

At lunch, me and Mimi just gossiped about this one hoe and how shes trying to look 'scene' or 'emo'. LMFAO. Like, she dressed like it but if you watch her, she doesn't act like it at all. And its just BS that she says "Oh a lot of bad things happened in my life. I'm emo..." HAHAHA. I hope she knows that automatically makes her a poser. Dumbass. And she put her hair to have a fringe. It looks so ugly. You can tell she tried to straighten her hair today. Talk about FAIL... Then Jacky came over and we told him to say hi to Michelle. But she just ignored him like a bitch. LOL it was hella funny. "Hi Michelle." Michelle just ignores him and fake laughs at someones stupid comment. But you know she feels uncomfortable.xD

In gym, we WALKED. Easy day.:D I cant believe it either, we did nothing but walk. So at first, we walk with Hang. He was complaining that he would rather run instead of walk.D: That hoe. Then i complained about how he never says hi to me and he's hella mean to me. He told me it was cause i was with a lot of boys. Really? What boys?-__- But whatever, Hang was actually being nice and talkative today. Some days, he never talks to me, and days like today, i remember why he was my exbestfriend in the first place.<3 Hang is cool.:D But then we let him run and race with his friends and we told him to run one lap and come back to us. But he never came back, he ditched us for his freaking friends.D: So me and Mimi walked around gossiping and shit and messing with EdwardCalvinAndy.(: He threw cigarette shit at Mimi's hair.D:

In health, we learned about healthy foods. Blahblah. We watched this video thing about the new food pyramid shit. Yep, it was boring.:/ But it is better than having Physics. Even though physics is funner, this class is...easier? Idk.

The next time someone asks me how I'm doing or how i am, I'm gonna answer with "Swell." or "Grand." Cause Christofer says that. Duh. Annd he doesn't wear shoes cause he doesn't believe in them. And he gets high (which I'm not gonna do don't fret.;D) but he's super adorable. I want a tattoo saying "Love is my weapon." somewhere on my body. Probably around my hips area. Cause Christofer Drew has one buut i want one not just cause he has it. LOL its a really pretty quote. It's like true. Love is my weapon.(:

Loveee Audio Summer.(:
I'm holding you, i feel you breathe. I miss you more than anything.
I look at you and i say, "Baby baby, are you gonna be alright?"
She puts her arms around me, and then she starts to cry.
I said, "I will always love you, no matter where this goes. And you don't have to say a word cause i already know."
What do you say to her when everything you say, she said "You're breaking my heart."
And i said, "You broke mine first..."
She said, "I miss you and i swear i mean that."
I said, "I love you, but you won't understand. I can't be with you and I'm so sorry. I'll really miss you. And when you need me, I'll be there.."
Rawr. I want a break up like this.^^(:

I have no life...

Sigh, me and Mimi are currently discussing smiley faces on AIM.
We have come to the conclusion that:
(: is prettier than (=
cause no one wants their eyes to look like (=. Thats hella nasty. LOL.
And [: and [; is a pedo smile. LOLOLOL.

Sigh, i swear to god, we spent so long discussing it. We have no lives. But i should be doing Ms.Ramirez's essay thing. But I'm too lazy. FML.):

Sighh. Bored bored bored bored bored. I have no where to go today. And i know i'll really regret not doing my hw now but...idc. Lalalalalaaaaaaaaa. Boreeed boreed. I have no life. I wanna play pokemon. But my sister is playing pokemon.):< I'm watching Hanna Montana right now. LOL. So boreed. I just need to keep myself occupied. I wish i had moneey but I'm so totally broke.): I put too much money in the bank. FML. I know i will thank myself for it in the future. But right now, i really want to go somewhere and spend that money!D:

Sigh. I'm kinda hungry. My grandma is cooking shit for me to eat. But its the same shit every fucking week. I'm getting hella sick of it. Bleh. It's hella nasty to me now. I guess this is how mimi feels about Pho. But its sooo good.D:

Sigh, rawr. Okay, I'm gonna go to get ready and such.(:

Song Lyric of the Day:
"I'm taking it slow this time. And i just wanna get it right for once. Is that so much to ask her? All i want is love."

Lalala boreed &tired.

Sigh, I'm super tireed. .(: My eyes hurt and i wanna sleep. I don't know why i don't. LOL I'm retarded. I should go take a shower before it gets too late.

Sigh, i wanna stay home tomorrow. I just remembered that i have to do Ramirez homework. FML. Can't i have one freaking weekend where i don't have homework?D:

I hate you Ms.Ramirez.): I need a fucking break from school. I need a fucking break from life.-__-

(11:49:11 PM): good night cutest low po in the world
(11:49:20 PM): keep that beauty shining :]
How do you NOT love this guy? ^^ My low gong makes my day.<3

Lalala..I'm soo bored and tired.): Okay I'm gonna go.(:

Talk to you laterr. BYE.(:

"Remind your mom to call me, i still care. Cause her approval meant the world to me."

Shopping.:D &im hella broke.

So i finally convinced my mom to bring me shopping. So she made me go to Costco with her and my grandma and grandpa. That pissed me off cause URG i just didn't wanna go. But whatever, she bought us pizza and then brought me and my sister to Serramonte. Sigh, Mimi was suppose to go today but her brother was too lazy to bring her there. LOL.

We walk around and we spend some time in SANRIO. Cause that place is the shit.<3 HELLO KITTY. I wanted the rings and necklaces and bracelets. Hehe.(: Okay so then me and my sister went to Wet Seal and bought some sunglasses. Oops, i mean HOTPINK sunglasses. Duh.(: Then there was no where interesting to go so we went to the Body Shop and whored in there. I needed a moisturizer cause my other one was sucky but i was too Asian to throw it away so i used it all first.(: Then the lady helped me and stuff. Things there are so expensive.D: I need more moneey. So she recommended three products and i bought them all. Hehe.

Then she gave me samples of the cleanser and toner. If those are good, then i'll buy them next time. Its about time i change my skin care routine. And i have to start using my masks more. But i get so freaking lazy.D: So i use them once a month instead of once a week.xD Next time we go, my sister shall buy a spot treatment.:D Sigh, i'm so broke right now. I really have no money. I have one dollar left. LMAO. FML. I saved all my money, thats why. Time to wait for my allowance though.(:

URG, Jason just IMed me saying that i have 'emo' statuses.-__- Then he asked me if i wanted to tell him whats wrong so i said no. Of course. And now he's saying he thinks his problems are worse. That pisses me off. Forreal? Even if they are, he doesn't need to say that. Especially when he's trying to ask me for help.-__- I don't really care. To be honest, i don't care at all. I just can't be mean and say no.-__- I don't care about your stupid problems with some stupid girl. JEEZ, get that in your fucking head. I don't care. Not to sound like a bitch, but i don't..:/

Yeep, goodbye.(: Have a nice...night.

"Remind your mom to call me, i still care. Cause her approval meant the world to me."

"Im so sad and mad, and sad and mad." &Referall.-__-

Today, after i got off the 88, i saw Mimi waiting for me with her dad. So we walk to school together and avoid Uju. We were hiding behind Micheal and he yelled something at us and left us. Unprotected and uncovered. Me and Mimi ran to the far side of the place and she picked berries. She was about to throw it at her but she left. We were happy and excited..but then the bell rang.-__-

We go to our lockers and then we go to English. I talked to Anna a bit about Ms.Radetsky and how retarded she was. I said that she was my soul mate and Brian said that I'm in love with EVERYONE.): "You're in love with Ms.Noll, you're in love with Ms.Yoshi, you're in love with Ms.Radetsky. And you're in love with Jacky."
I'm like "WTF? Jacky?!"
"Yea, Jacky."
"When did i ever say that?"
"I don't know.."
"-__-"
Brian is hella stupid. I'm only in love with old ladies.-__-

In gym, we did push ups with the ball thingies and then we did pacers. I did 15. My goal was 20, then i changed it to 15. LMAO at least i reached my goal. OH and before gym, when we were walking. We heard Michelle complaining about how mad and sad she was. "I'm so mad and sad, and mad and sad." LMFAOOO. That's HELLA catchy. I kept saying it the whole time i was changing.xD Yeep so anyway, we did curl ups also. I did like 27 or so. Mimi did 17 or 18 but we pretended it was 20. LOL but she didn't count it so whatever.

For homeroom, i really don't remember what i did. We did the survey on the teachers. I put Jammy as a girl and African American and 6th grade. LOL. He was like "I don't WANNA be black. Then Mark was still not here so I'm like "Wheres Mark? Still in jail?" Jammys like "HES IN JAIL?" I'm like "Well he's black." LOOOL but Ms.Joseph was staring right at me but didn't say anything.xD I tried to do Spanish homework but i hella failed. So Jammy was saying words in Spanish cause we had a test todaay. He was like "How the hell do you remember this shit?!" LOLOL. Cause im Mexican. Duhh.(; And i managed to cut my thumb with IDONTKNOW what.-__- But it hurts like a motherfreaking bitch.

In Spanish, we took the test and it was hella easy. I think i did well on it. Then we went over how to conjugate -ir and -er verbs. Mhmm easy shit. Talked to Kelly about shiit and that's about it.

At lunch, me and Mimi tried to fit in. We went to like three different groups. Sigh, i think that Auxi was at YAB but idk. Jason told me that he was being emo these days. Stupid motherfuckers don't know how to appropriately use that word. If you're depressed, it doesn't mean your emo. If you say you're emo, you're not emo. Nothing more than a poser. Jeeez.-__-

Health, we had a sub so we did anything we want. Mr.Marshall came in and told us to STFU like two times.xD I did like only half of my work because I'm a lazyass. Jacky came to sit with me a few times and we talked about menstrual cycles and diseases. Hehe then he asked me about abstinence. Mhmm, then we gossiped about Michelle. He says that she acts like a 90210 bitch, except that she has no friends. LMFAO.<3

In Physics, Wilson wasn't here today and Ms.Yoshi is back.): Me, Vicente, and Ashley are the only ones at our table and we're halk talking, half doing our work. I was super tired so i tied up my hair and tried to get some sleep while taking notes. LOL but Ashley asked me "Do you believe that everyone will be with who they're suppose to be with in time?" I said "Yes, of course." Then she asked what happens if we can't find that person we're gonna spend forever with. I told her that we'd die alone then. Then Vicente told me that Ms.Yoshi had two referral forms and the top one had my name on it. He guessed that the bottom one had his name on it. Referall? Referral? Idk whatever. So i shutup and did my work. Then we got to the subject of boners and sex and such. We asked Vicente some very personal questions and he answered them all honestly and openly.(: Then he told me that Ms.Yoshi probably played us and that she wrote our name on the referral to scare us. So i proceeded to break up with her. "I really loved you. But you played me and Vicente so im sorry, we can't be together anymore. No..no we can't be friends. It'd be best if we take each other out of our lives. Yea.." LOLOL then Cowboy came so i shutup. Ms.Yoshi gave the referall shit to him and Vicente was really convinced that it was me and him. But it turns out to be me and Ashley.:0

Me followed him to Mr.Marshall and we followed him around till Isaiah came back from the bathroom. I had no idea what i did. LOL. He brought us to the TardyRoom and we had to stay there for hella long.-__- Mr.Marshall told me to get some work out. Me and Ashley had no idea what was going on and what was happening. But Isaiah just walked in there and took a seat like it was his second home. LMAO. Trouble makers. The bell rung and we had to stay there for hella long. My phone was ringing nonstop. I was like so impatient. I had to fucking go. My mom was waiting for me.-__- Sigh, this was bullshit. Ms.Yoshi has fucking problems, saying that i constantly talk. What did i do that the whole class wasn't doing?-__- Sigh whatever.
We are OVER, Ms.Yoshi, i love Ms.Noll. She's always been sexier than you anyway.>:0

Oh and afterschool, when i was trying to run to my moms car, i saw Uju walking so i tried to quickly walk to avoid her. But surely, she saw me and went like "Hi Jessica." She tried to make conversation with me from across the street and i made an excuse and ran away. Thank you, Ms.Ramirez.(:

Eh, my mom doesn't wanna take me shopping anymore cause i got a referal.-__- If she doesn't take me, i'll drag my sisters ass to Stonestown.(: HA! I win either way.(:<

Ok, bye.

Song Lyric of the Day:
"Remind your mom to call me, i still care. Cause her approval meant the world to me."

JammyYu.

Jammy Yu is so awesome that i just HAVE to make a blog dedicated to him. We are currently using pickup lines on each other via AIM.LOL. This conversation is making my weeek.(: I swear to god, he is such a sweettalker. I bet there are SO many girls falling head over heels over him.(;

jamjamyu 9:05 pm
(9:05:52 PM): i love your smile.
jessicaling0 9:06 pm
(9:06:00 PM): i love your eyes.
jamjamyu 9:06 pm
(9:06:09 PM): theyre chinky
jessicaling0 9:06 pm
(9:06:19 PM): theyre beautiful

jamjamyu 8:30 pm
(8:30:02 PM): as cute as you ?
(8:30:03 PM): not even close.
(8:30:08 PM): if there were words to describe
(8:30:12 PM): how adorable you are.
(8:30:12 PM): trust me
(8:30:14 PM): id use them
(8:30:15 PM): :]
jessicaling0 8:30 pm
(8:30:28 PM): awww(:
(8:30:31 PM): i love you so much
(8:30:32 PM): <3
jamjamyu 8:31 pm
(8:31:10 PM): i know you do .
(8:31:11 PM): :]
(8:31:14 PM): i love you more though
(8:31:17 PM): always will
(8:31:20 PM): jeh see cahhh ;D

This conversation is BEAST. Made my whole entire week. I swear, i have this bigass smile on my face and i cant get it off.xD

I love you, LOW GONG.(:

"Hey there, its nice to see you again. It never felt right calling this just friends. I'm happy if you're happy with yourself."

"Look a penis!" &stalking bryan?

Okay, today i woke up pretty late. Showered and didn't bother with anything else. I looked like complete shit today so i tied my hair up. Got on the 88, when i got off, 8x was there so me and Mimi walked to school with her complaining about her flu and how tired she was even though she slept the whole night. We gossiped about Victoria and Jessica because they were with stinkyAlex. He be pimpin.xD

In English, it was same shit. I barely remember what we did. The poem shit, i think. Yup, its always boring as hell. Michelle told me about something that Auxi told her and about Mimi's blog. Right that moment, Mimi walked by and overheard so she was hella pissed.

I went to Ellet and had to take the small desk cause Jason was there before me. He gave me and Sophia this candy thing was was so goood. It was this Asian candy but he wouldn't give us any more. Even though he promised.):< Stupid hoe! That was hella good. Note to self- buy that candy from Japantown or Chinatown.:D

Homeroom... i forgot what happened. LOL. But after that, Jacky asked me if i made Mimi cry and i was like wtf. He said that he called her many times but she ignored him and mumbled something about me. I didn't do shit.-__- Jeez Jacky.D:

Spanish, we had the sub. The sub that we had last year for gym! And we didn't know if he was a boy or girl. Cause he has straight bangs and very long hair tied in a ponytail. He looked like a girl. Trust me. But the i asked his name and he said MR.something. So yea.LOLOL. Me and Kelly basically talked about bus fights. Then we talked to Javon(?) and Sean about _____ _____. LOL we were all hella nice to that person. But we hate..that person. And also we talked about Becky and how she 'shanked' Javon with a ruler, a pencil, a protractor/compass thing. LMFAO. Turns out that she's not special ed. She just has scoliosis(sp?). We didn't even get our work done. LOL.

At lunch, freaking Mimi dragged me to the college meeting thing. Which i REALLY didn't wanna go to but she freaking made me go. We didn't know where it was so we had to ask hella people till we finally found it. She kept saying that she wanted the pizza even though it'll make her more sick. Smartass.. We answered questions and shit and left.

Then Mimi started ranting about people.-__- She kept bitching about everyfuckingbody. I swear to god, i hope she gets better from that damn flu. It's making her cranky as hell.-___________- She started bitching about Michelle just cause she was talking about her blog. Bitching about Auxi cause she talked about her blog. Cause Michelle told me that Mimi wrote that she wanted Auxi to die. I don't think she ever said that. But it got Mimi hella pissed. She was ranting then she ranted about Leti and her hair cause i told her to just rant about her. I swear, i rather not hear about her saying how pissed she is about other people.-__- I was half listening to what she was bitching about and half wondering where Auxi was.

Then i left to go to Jammy and them. They were playing with condoms. LOL. Jammy filled one up with milk and started playing with it. LOL. Hella fun. But Mimi just stood there glaring at nothing. Sigh.. I don't even know why she's so damn pissed. No explanation so i'll just blame it on the flu. I hope she gets better fucking SOON.

I went to 5th period and i was just happy to be inside where it was warm. It was suppose to be hot today.): We talked about health and stress and shit. I was so freaking tired of it all. We watched this video thing about how rich people have better health than poor people. Boriinggg. I tried to fall asleep but Mr.Pepper tapped me and woke me up. Sigh, i was so freaking tired. I was worried about Auxi and how badly Mimi was harassing her or anyone else. Sigh, her and her crankiness these days.:/

I walked into Yoshi and was happy to see that there was a sub. I got to my table where first of all Ashley left to sit with Alicia.:D Now that she's out of the way, we could have fun.(: Again, no offense to her but shes a party pooper and too annoying cause she gets annoyed at everything. She's nice but she acts like a bitch in some ways.

So Chris(the Mexican guy!) moved to our table and so did Brendan. I swear, we didn't get any work done at all. LOL. But its okay cause i LOVE my group. L-O-V-E. They're so hilarious. So like every picture in the Physics textbook is SOO dirty. So Vicente kept drawing penises on them and taking pictures with his phone. It was so fun and i couldnt resist so i drew tooo. It was HELLA funny how boys NEED to draw penises when givin the opportunity. Chris was mocking our subs russian accent and she started yelling at him cause she was offended or something. LMFAOOOOO. Butbutbut Wilson didn't talk at all today. I don't know whats wrong with him so i didn't mess with him. I didn't do anything to him except throw a penny at him twice. LOL but Chris took it and was like "IM RICH!" LOLOL.

Afterschool, i was at the bus stop hanging out with Bryan and Brendan when Kevin came. I was like "Oh gawd. Just great." He was hugging me and everything. Sigh. He says he likes my style now. He says i changed a bit from the last time i talked to him. Which was like only today and yesterday. Did i look girlier?-__- I don't care if i look 'cute' or 'hot'. Don't get used to it. Its so uncomfortable.

Then my mom forced me to go to the library with my sister and i just remembered that i had to pee since physics. So me and my sister went to the bathroom and when i came out, i saw BRYAN MARTINEZ playing on the computer. I went back to my little table place and eventually, i went to find my sister and spy on Bryan through the book shelves. LMAO people looked at me and thought i was crazy. Then at last minute, i gathered my courage to go say hi to him. I stared at me like "What the hell?" LMAO. He thinks i stalked him there. I asked him if i scared him and he said yes. LOL.

Okay bye.

Song Lyric of the Day:
"Hey there, its nice to see you again. It never felt right calling this just friends. I'm happy if you're happy with yourself."

Mimi's house &PHO.(:

Okaay so i did my usual this morning. And i had to tie up my hair like AHEMAHEM today cause i told Mimi to also. FML. What the fuck was i thinking. I looked like a stupid preppy cheerleader and it felt SOO uncomfortable. I was messing with it every 10 seconds. But Mimi wouldn't let me take it down.D:

So everyone looked at me and was like "DAYUM." LOLOL cause i would never do that huh. Next time, I'm doing FOUR. LOL. Watch in a few years that's hella popular and every ones doing it.xD Some people said i looked pretty or cute or hot. whatever. That pissed me off. I was trying to be HER. Not pretty or cute or anyshit. But Jammy says that i was to pretty to be her.): I know that's a complement but i was TRYING to do be her today.

In Ellet's, he moved me because i was talking to Patrick. Why is it always me?! Do i talk THAT loudly?D: So he moved me up to the front with stupidJASON laughing his butt off.)': Thanks a lot, son. Thanks. LOL so i actually paid attention cause i had no one to talk to.

Yep theen i had gym and we did pacers. Mr.Grays class ran too and DAYUM only like 3 boys finished all 30. And in our class, like all the boys finished expect for like 3 of them. LMAO. I ran 21 only cause i got hella tired. I thought that i was the first one to stop but i saw that Mimi stopped already. She said her mouth was super dry so we asked Ms.Ramirez if we can get water. She said "I bet everyone is feeling that way." but she let us go anyway. There wasn't any water fountain outside the locker room so we had to go out to the halls. We tried to test the door if it was locked and it wasnt so we proceeded on to get water. When we came back, it was locked. -__- So we had to get the security to open it for us. He was either lecturing us or joking with us but i wasn't sure. LOL.

Sigh, homeroom was nothing. Jacky came and sat in my seat and made me sit somewhere else.-__- They were playing cards and talking about stupid shit i didn't care about. So i started daydreaming till the bell rang.

Then we went to health. We learned about resolutions and mine was to be nicer to Sean. LOL but i still kept making fun of him. And when he got up to go to the bathroom, i tripped him. LOL. Then i talked to Kelly about Ming. I hella miss kicking him.)': He would wear hella girly socks that were like polkadot.XD And I'd check his socks everyday to see his socks. He even told me they were his mom's. LMAO. And then she told me about how he wore a thong one time and some boys caught him wearing it. And he even admited it. Then they asked him why he was wearing it and he told them that it was because his penis was really small. LMFAROFLLOLOL. That hella made my day.xD

Lunch was normal. Auxi wasn't here today.D: Me and Mimi thought that she skipped school with PJ but i guess not cause i saw him and Kaylla hanging out afterschool.

So 6th period, we had a sub and she commented on my bag. LOL. Um Ashley moved away from our table to Alicia's table.:D She's hella missing out but i like it better with her gone. It's hella more funner cause she just sits there complaining and mumbling shit. LOL. No offence, Ashley, if you're reading this which is like a slimass chance.xD But yeeup. So Brendan and that Mexican guy (i forgot his name LOL) moved to our table and we all worked together to finish our work. More like copied Wilson. LMAO.

Yea then we found some smiley faces at our table and got hella freaked out. LOL we drew bodies on them and penises. Bob and his gf Joe.<3 LMAO and freaking Vicente drew him cumming on her face.LOL. The sub came over to me multiple times telling me to be quieter.xD I swear, the class is quieter when Ms.Yoshi ISN'T here. LOLOL. I didn't know i was that loud but i guess i am.xD Funny shit.

Afterschool, i went to my locker and Kevin said hi to me and hugged me. He asked me if we were still friends and I'm just like "Mhmm." and walked away quickly. He followed me and told me to wait. I said bye to Jacky and Nikko. And Nikko accused me of not remembering his name just cause i said "Bye Jacky." and waved bye to him.xD Then, me and Mimi went to the library and got our movie tickets.

Theeen, we took the bus to Mimi's house and her house is hella bigger than mine. Wtf is that hoe smoking. LOL. I ate PHO and we watched the Ellen show.<3 Then we went upstairs and whored on her computer. I was searching up songs for her to listen to and she was bitching about people from the yearbook of her old school. LMAO. Then we played this one game which i totally failed at.)': And Mimi thought it was funny so she recorded me playing and failing.D: Sigh.. Soon, i had to leave and Mimi's mom packed some pho for us.<3 My mom was like so happy.LOL.

Yuup, here i am. I'm friggen tired and i don't want to do my English homework.D:

Sigh bye..

Song Lyric of the Day:
"This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue.And my eye on the scope down the barrel of a gun."

Starting over.

Sigh, i woke up this morning and i heard my mom's boyfriend so i stayed in bed till i heard him leave. I went in the bathroom and took a shower, blahblahblah

Went to English and nothing happened. We had to write a narrative poem. This is it but its' my first draft. Eh too lazy to dig it out of my backpack so...LOL.

In geometry, we had a sub and i got there before Jason. But i looked back and saw him behind me. So i took his big desk and he was forced to have the small desk.(:< We were teaching Patrick how to speak Chinese. LMAO. It was hella funny. A black guy speaking Chinese. Hilarious.xD

Nothing interesting in homeroom except that Jacky snuck in but he got kicked out.LOL.

Nothing in Spanish. Sigh, that class is getting so boring now.D: But i DO learn shit so i can't complain, i guess.

Then finally, lunch came and Kelly gave me a cupcake for our 2 year anniversary.<3 Which was on Valentines day.(: It was pretty goooood. Stupid Brian called me a hoe so i chased him and beat that boy. Teehee.xD Then Janet told me that Patrick was half the size of me and that hes even friggen skinnier. LMAO he's hella small. I don't know who would want that but that's so gross. Wouldn't girls want to be in the arms of someone they feel safe in. The boy would have to be bigger than the girl at least. Seriously.

Then in the locker room, we were talking about how he wanted to get with Janet. LOL then she told me that he lied to people and said that i was his girlfriend. Yep.  I swear to god. Who does that? Especially when the person could easily deny it and you would look like a fool. Stupid ass.
Get it straight sweetie, i am NOT your girlfriend. I never was. And i never will be.
I don't even know why anyone would want to be. Especially cause you blab about it to the whole world. I remember you saying you loved your girlfriend, a few days later, you're talking about hooking up with random girls. No one wants to fuck you. Jeez. ESPECIALLY not me. Not even if you were the last guy on Earth. I would much rather stay a virgin till i die.(:

In Gym, we were suppose to run 12 laps. But some idiot said some shit to Ms.Ramirez and she changed it to making us run 15 laps.-__- We ended up running 14. Sigh, i hate this. I really thought i was going to throw up. Ms.Ramirez even asked if i was alright. Hah. Scared that i will faint again?xD It was so friggen hot too. So i took off my shirt and went to class with a tank top and jacket.

In physics, we actually worked and it was pretty fun. I begged Wilson to say "OH my." and told him that i would leave him alone for 5 minutes. LOL. Then he finally said it after i abused him for 5 minutes.xD Then i had to go to Brendan's table so i wouldn't bother Wilson. That was the hardest five minutes ever though. Then Auxi told me to go kick Wilson's butt so i tried to. But he wouldn't turn around so i kicked him in the stomach. But barely, i don't even think i did. I missed by a little.xD

Afterschool, i walked Jacky home and we talked about stuuff. He ate the remaining cupcakes that Kelly offered to him. He says he'll work out at the gym after dinner. LOL suree you are.xD I walked back and realized that i had no idea where my mom was since i didn't have my phone. I walked around once and i couldn't find her so i walked home.D: At home, they lectured me and told me that they were worried i got kidnapped or something.xD I was so freaking tired.Sigh. I still am...


"These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks. All these asphyxiated, self medicated, take the white pill, it'll make you feel alright."

Finally giving up...

It's a new year, i tried to be happy for the past two months. But i failed miserably so I'm starting tomorrow. Forget the past. No more crying about that. I do admit that you caused me the most painful week of my life so far. But i forgive you. I wished that i still had that desire to try. I used to have something telling me "Don't give up. She'll come around. Don't give up." Its gone now. I think i killed it..

Now i see that i have nothing to hold on to anymore. Nothing. All my hope is gone. I do still care about you. But good things fall apart so better things can fall together. And i can see that a lot of good things are happening for you since we left your life. You became closer to Kaylla, Michelle, Ashley, and PJ. It almost seems like you're happier. So its only fair that we be happy too right? Right?

Well then, I'm finally giving up. And its really hard to do so. Because you were the first real bestfriend i ever had. I never cried so much or so hard. But i feel like i don't care anymore. Like something telling me that i deserve to be happy? It'll be hard to live my life knowing that we would never be the way we were before but i guess i have to move on. Life keeps spinning, its not slowing down for anyone. So you live your life the way you'd like to and i do the same for mine. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you for the good moments that we had. The memories still make me smile...or cry. I really wished that everything would be better. That I'd wake up and its all a dream. But reality hit me. It's not the same. It never will be. So i guess you're just going to be another person i know. Another person i KNEW. Its really sad because its not the same.

I don't know what you want me to do. I really still want to hold on. But all it gets me is pain because it seems like you're not giving me anything to hold on two. Three little words may do it though. The three simple words, "Don't give up." Cause i don't want to. But i don't want to keep holding on if its not going to get better.

Sorry for being a bother. Sorry for showing up in your life. Sorry we ever talked. Sorry we ever became friends. Sorry we ever met...

So goodbye to you. An exbestfriend. I still love you. I still care for you. We just grew apart and our friendship just doesn't feel natural anymore. I shouldn't have just assumed that you were really my friend. I shouldn't have assumed that you'd be here through anything and everything. I shouldn't have assumed anything. Because boys ruin relationships. I learned that the hard way.

Goodbye and best of luck in life...

"You can take back your misery."

Todaay..

I woke up to an..interesting dream. Alright lets relive it.:D
So there was this one boy who was like a player/hottie type. Ya know. The boy everyone idolized. He had a girlfriend of course. She was blonde and beautiful. So i was on the bus one day and he was there. He stood next to me and smiled. I shyly looked away cause he was well...hot. At the next stop, he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bus with him and we went into a store. Safeway, or Walgreens, or somewhere like that. We talked and things got a bit physical, i believe. Then his girlfriend came so i left for a bit and he broke up with his girlfriend. He was.. really hot from what i remember. He was really tall and just.. gorgeous.(: Sigh.. Yea so i think we got together, I'm not sure. But that was pretty amazing.(: But i know, in reality, dating those boys only break your heart. Even if they are so amazing and beautiful. Lust...

So we teleported to my cousins house, just hanging out. Then Auxi came out of no where and told me that Isaiah broke his leg cause he got in a fight with 5 Mexicans. LMFAO. So we all go up there to see the battle scene. There was like a hospital thing up there and i peeked in. I saw George Lopez there with a broken arm and broken leg. LMFAOO. He was one of the Mexicans that he got in a fight with. I love how racist my dreams are.<3

When i woke up, i had to go to Kome and eat with my mom and her friend. I got red envelopes from them. $40 breeh.(: Yeep, and after that, i went to Best Buy to buy my earphones. LOL my sister bought a Pokemon game.xD

Mhmm then we went to Nordstrom Rack cause my mom was there and i bought CHI Silk Infusion cause it is half the normal price.(:

Mhmm. I don't know if i have any more to say. I cant wait till CHINA. I already got all my money ready. $200. $150 to use so its $1050 in china money. And $50 just in case. So i have an extra $350 just in case.:D
131 more days till CHINA.:D

Song Lyric of The Day:
"You can take back your misery."

Home.:D

Hello people. I am in a good mood right now. Because i am finally home and i got lots of moneey from my dads side of the family. Yea i got $50 from the normal people. $5 each as i was expecting. But my dad gave me $50 which i feel kind of bad about cause he is jobless and its like he tries to compete with my mom about how much money they give us for holidays, birthdays, ect.. Its kind of sad. So he shares the house with one other guy who is his friend. He gave us $20.(: Then the other guy, he comes to the house to do work sometimes. He gave us two red envelopes and i expected $5-$10 in each. But when i opened it i saw a hundred dollar bill. That's right. A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL. A FRIGGEN HUNDRED DOLLARS. So i opened the other one and it was ANOTHER freaking hundred dollars. So i got $200 from him. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS!! That's the most money I've ever gotten from one individual. I swear to god, that made my week.(:
THANK YOU GUY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.(: I've got to learn his name but for now, I'll call him 'that one guy with the blonde highlights'. Hah. You made my week. Literally had me jumping up and down. That was the highlight of this month. Hehe THANKS.(:

Okay anyways. Now that I'm safely at home, i can tell more about last night. Man, i just forgot what i was going to say.-__- Oh yea, so we (me, my sister, Deo, and Jane) were at my cousin, Sarah's house just chilling. And Deo was saying how he thought my cousins were cute. WHICH MAKES ME GAG BY THE WAY. We started discussing how sexy Taylor Lautner was. LOL. I know i know. But it was fun. And no he is not gay. Get it straight, he's Bi. Alright? Alright.

Um i can't wait till school on Tuesday cause i have a suuprissee.(: Hehe. Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to Kome with my mom and her friends. Yep more money for me.

Kay bye.

"Jane doe, i don't even know you but i know, fosho, that you are beautiful so baby let me know your name. Cause I'm terribly attracted and overly convinced, that she can be my princess, and i can be her prince."

Last night... &Screw Valentines Day.

After the blog that i posted via itouch, i kept complaining that i was hungry so me and my cousin went downstairs to eat. I stood there in the living room while eating and my aunties that i haven't seen in a year asked me questions about school, home, boys, and basically life in general. I politely answered them all and ate quickly so i could get the freak outta there.

After eating, we went back upstairs and sat against the wall with my ipod. My cousin and her friends were using the computer, reviewing and editing the shots that we filmed today. I really wasn't interested in any of that shit. But when they laughed and turned around, i laughed along with them even though i had no clue what they were laughing at. At one point in time, i had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom just so i could get away. I turned the sink on and shed a couple of tears. I regained myself and went back up there with them.

We started talking and naming movies and fishes and stuff. We told jokes. Played Dirty Minds. They all think i have a poop fetish because i replace 'shit' and other 'bad words' with poop'. LOL so I'm like "What the poop?" "I'm so pooping hungry." LOLOL don't ask.xD And i told the joke "Whats the difference between a black guy and a barrel of poop?"　"The barrel." LOL. All in good fun but i wasn't really feeling it. I wasn't in the mood. So Sarah's friends left a little before 12. I was so friggen tired. I was dozing off but i couldn't sleep cause there was a few more minutes till 12 and moneey. We finally got called down to get our red envelopes. I got 10 total not including my dad, mom, grandma, or grandpa. I'm guessing theres $5 in each so $50? Not that bad, i guess. My parents are where the big money comes in though.(;

I thanked everyone and wished them a happy Chinese new year. Yea yea.. they eventually left and every five minutes, i complained about how tired i was. So my cousin got out this mat thing with a blanket and pillow and told me to sleep there while she tried to edit the video. I wasn't use to sleeping that late cause the whole week, i slept at 10ish and it was about 1am. Sigh so eventually, i went to sleep.

I dreamt that this one boy asked me to be his valentine. It was too adorable to resist so naturally, i said yes. Then he asked me to give him a handjob. LOL. In my dream, i was like hesitant but i think i did. But now I'm trying to figure out who he was. I remember he was as cute as a button, he had medium length hair, he was a bit taller than me. Was he blonde? I think he was white... curly hair? I don't know but his face is SO　blurry to me right now. That perverted son of a hoe. I even told him that i was afraid he only wanted sex and such. But he said sweet things and i think i gave in. Sigh, i don't know why i just wrote that for the world to see but... BOY in my dream, show yourself. You seem so familiar but like a stranger at the same time. Like i know you but i don't. Help me out, boy.

Screw Valentines Day is all that i have to say. I even had a friggen dream about someone asking me to be their Valentine. But I'm a bit confused about something. So if someone asks you to be their Valentine, does it mean that they are together?　Like boyfriend and girlfriend. Or only for that day? Or... I　don't get it. But what if you're already going out. Does the boy still ask his girlfriend to be his Valentine?　Don't you just love how slow i am? I don't get it...

Yea..awkward... How the hell do i have an awkward moment by myself? I guess I'm just an awkward person. How come people go like "Sooo...” or "Yeep...." "Um..."　Those awkward phrases people use to end awkward silences. Its stupid. It just makes the awkwardness and tension more known.:/
I said 'awkward' 6 times in this tiny paragraph. Not including the one in that sentence. LOL.

Alright done.

Song Lyric of the Day"
"Jane Doe, i don't even know you but i know, fosho, that you are beautiful. So baby let me know your name. Cause I'm terribly attracted and overly convinced that she can be my princess and i could be her prince."

Filming at the beach &cousins.

So my dad came to pick me and my cousin+her friends up and we all went to the beach with a shitload of stuff. There was the camera and the piano and boxes of costumes and props. We did the scenes like a thousand times. Each time with my cousin yelling "One more time!". Haha well I should get used to it. That's what real actors go through like every time. Overall, it was very fun. We all wore masks to hide our identities. I wish to be 'unknown ninja' in the credits. Haha.xD We filmed for like 6 hours with an hour or two. I couldn't eyes for like 6 hours. But honestly I didn't notice though. Wasn't hungry. :D

After that, we went to my cousins house and ate some French fries and burgers. Mhmm then we watched some random crap on YouTube. Urm my cousins are here. They're so different, I swear. One of them is like ganster ghetto black guy. LOL and the other is SUPERasian. His hair is so fobby. Stupid hoes. They're so gay and stupid. They are currently playing cards like the fags that they are. LOL at my bashing them but they are SOO stupid and weird. Dayum, i just realized that Damon(I think that's how you spell his name. LOL) is wearing skinnies and a well fitted shirt.

Wow and Philip is wearing saggy pants and a hoodie and he refuses to take off his hood. WOW. Nvm he's wearing skinnies or normal pants while sagging. Damon is more well dressed. I someone in my school dressed like that,it'd be hot and such a turn on. But I know him and he's not that kind of boy. He's just so EW. Like seriously. Alrighty done.(: I can't believe that Deo said that they are hot. That is so GROSS. WTF is that boy smoking. They are by no means hot. No no no. And I'm not just saying that just cause they're my cousins. If I saw them on the streets, it'd be like Ew wtf?

Urg I'm so hungaary. I thought they said there would be lots of food. Fml I wanna go home. But I want my money so I have to stay at this hellhole.:/ 2 and a half more hours till MONEYY. Then I can leave this stupid place. Sigh, I'm so bored and hungry. My cousin and her friends are listening to weird music from the 80's. I'm so FRIGGEN bored. Blogging on my itouch.(:

Okay bye.

"If you feel like running today, you know I'd understand."

Family Gathering Tonight &money!

I just woke up and I'm going to shower in a little bit. Then I'm gonna tell my dad to pick me up. I just needed to do one last blog before that. But i might blog at my cousins house, or maybe I'll be too busy hiding and talking shit about my other cousins. LOL i hate them so much.:/ I should go make myself pretty. But I'm too lazy. So much have changed in this one year.

My cousin also wants us to go to the beach with her to film some music video thing for a school project. I have to wear a dress and be at the beach with her and her friends.-__- This is one reason i don't like her sometimes. Things she wants me to do. Haha. Okay what if there are some creepy Mexicans at the beach staring at me. Don't fret guys, I'll wear short shorts under my dress just in case it blows the dress up or something. LOL. Then i can take it off. Can i wear a tank under my dress?Hmm... LOL okie dokie. I'll try to blog more later on.:D

My eyes are less puffy and swollen as they were this past week. I'm starting to think they are going to stay here forever.D: But of course, i know they wont. Okay, I'll shut up and take my shower now.

BYE.:D Happy Chinese New Year.(: (I know that's tomorrow but we get together TODAY and wait till 12am to get our $$.)

PS- If you have any ideas for how to cheer me up and make me happy tonight. I'd appreciate it. AIM- jessicaling0

Thanks bye.

Song Lyric of the Day:
"If you feel like running today, you know I'd understand."

French fries and icecream helps depression.

I woke up to a dream of me burning in a burning house. I was on fire, yet i did nothing to get out of it. When i think about it, its exactly like the situation I'm in. I'm burning, our relationship is burning up to ashes. And yet, I'm doing nothing about it.

So i wake up and get into the shower and thought about things. I got out, rushed to do all my shit, ate, and left. I called Mimi when i was at her stop cause i was a bit late today and i wondered if she was still on the bus. She said yes so i waited about 1 or 2 minutes and we walked to school together. We walked past Bob's car and Mimi told me that was Bob and Auxi. I said no it wasn't and kept walking. She was all like "Wanna bet?Let's walk backwards." That hoe is crazy. So she gets Auxi's books out and walks to the car and gives the books back to her. I couldn't even look at her so i just stared at the floor. Bob said hi to us so i said hi back then we walked away. We hesitated at the entrance of school then went in. We stood there awkwardly and finally the bell rang.

We go to Mimi's locker then my locker, i think. Then we went to class.

English is always the same. Nothing special happened. Did poem analysis thing. I read a few lines of her blog and i cried. Luckily, no one suspected anything. No one knew. So after class, i darted outta there and went to Ellets.

We did Trigonometry and stuff. I swear, that's so confusing. Jason kept asking me for paper even though he had a notebook full of paper right in front of him. I told him to STFU and use his own paper. He kept complaining that it was too small or the lines were too big or someshit. Stupid hoe.xD He even made Mr.Ellet move me to the front where Mimi sits.): Stupid Jason.

Spanish, we got out tests back and i got like 94% more or less. Fail.. Cause Kelly got 100% LOL. After that, we walked to the auditorium while talking about how Uju was taking pictures of girl changing in the girls locker room. That's messed up. I'm so glad I'm not in that period. And Mimi told me she was in yearbook so she might post those pictures. That's hella messed up dudee.

So we went into the auditorium and i looked for Mimi.She saved a seat for me so i hopped in.xD Then when the lights dimmed, Mr.Davis (or something) was looking through the class. He looked right at me for a long time. He point at me and was like "You. Get to class!" or something. I swear, he's scary as hell. The way his eyes are like so big and everything.:0 Mimi told him that there was no more space in my homeroom and it was just right there.

The assembly was pretty weird and annoying. I couldn't understand shit cause I'm a fail Asian.xD The one that was SO cute was the one where the boys were giving the rose to the girls. That was so adorable. I wanted to like take them all home with me. NOT in a sexual way.:/ But it was so cute. Yea and...yea..

Lunch was normal. Me and Mimi decided if we should go back to 'the group' but we decided against it in the end. We really wanted to but we really didn't at the same time. Never did it look so unwelcoming.

In health, we learned about stress and what it does to people. Fuck stress.

Physics, i kept messing with Wilson. Trying to get him to say "OH my.." But he refused. And now I keep saying it.D: Then i suddenly noticed that today was the 11th. Huh. Its been two months and three days and i almost forgotten.

Me and Auxi made eye contact like once but i had to look away. I hate this. I miss her so much. I'd give anything just to have our friendship back. And i don't think its healthy to cry this much. Or to miss someone this much.

The next time someone asks me "Whats wrong?". I'm going to respond "Well i lost my bestfriend and I'm completely shattered. But other than that, life is amazing.-__-"

Seriously and what pisses me off the most is how Jason thinks his stupid 'fight' with this girl he likes is worse than my problems. So he rants and asks for help. He tells me he hates life while I'm here crying my eyes out. Uh huh. Okay. Sure having a stupid fight with some girl you like is worse than me losing my best friend.She was the closest anyone has ever gotten. And i never loved anyone like i loved her. Not to be a bitch, but i don't CARE about your problems right now. My heart is too torn up, i don't have the heart to 'care'. I.DON'T.CARE. Get the fuck over it.-__-

And am i really hiding it that badly that people NOTICE. They ask me whats wrong like they care or would ever understand. Even if i told them, they won't understand. I lost my bestfriend. So what? They don't know how i feel. They don't. They never will. I wish this was just a nightmare. I wish i could just wake up and run into her arms. I would never let go. Never.

So many things remind me of you. Just going to Safeway and seeing that cakemix thing you bought. We made the cake together for your birthday... And crossing the street to Balboa, remember? The one you would always drag us across and we would always rant about how we almost died. Even eating ramen, i remember all the times at your house. Hah, everything reminds me of you. And i can't even look you in the eye.. I fear that i will just fall to my knees and cry my heart out.

So now, I'm eating french fries and icecream. Hoping that it can fill the hole in my heart. But nope. Its not helping. Nothing works.:/ That place for made for you. You and only you can make me whole again. And there hasn't been a day since you left that i haven't cried. I cry everyday. Multiple times a day. Anything small can trigger the tears. I think I'm going crazy.

Now, I'll do my essay so i can sleep and get this day over with. I've been sleeping earlier. Cause i cant bear to stay up and hour or two later just to cry...

Song lyric of the day:
"Damn girl. Dry your eyes. You stole my heart then you kicked it aside. No girl. You can't see. When hes inside, you know theres no room for me."

OH My..god. &our adventure.

So today i woke up, looked at the miror and DAYUM. My eyes were swollen and puffy. This is why i hate crying myself to sleep. But i couldn't help it. I tried to help it but it was no use so i just took a shower. Didn't give a damn about my hair or anything and just went to school. I rode the 88 and got there a bit early so i call Mimi to see if shes in the 8x. Cause if she wasn't, i would be waiting for no one, wouldn't i? Lol so i waited for her and we walked to school together.

I had to return the juggling thing to Ms.Ramirez but Mr.Gray was saying some shit we couldn't understand. LOL but we went in anyway and returned it. There was like two minutes until the bell so we decided to walk out but the bell rang so.. We went to my locker and walked me to Ellet.

We were learning Trigonometry(sp?). Is it even part of Geometry?D: Oh well. Its pretty easy but i couldn't do the work shit.D:

LMAO in the locker room, when we were changing. Mimi was messing with her sweats and i was like "Why is my sweats so baggy?" And she was like "Why is my sweats so tight?" We looked at each other and laughed our asses off and then traded sweats. LOL. I have no idea how the fuck they got switched. LOL. So we juggled and practiced. We didn't even take the test yet. Lol, i guess we take it on Friday. I swear, i rather take the F. I can't juggle for shit but i guess i got better.

Then Mr.Pepper wasn't there in health so we had a sub. We basically had to write who was important to us. I basically BSed it. I can't think of TEN people who i care about. Seriously. So i just gave up on that and layed on my desk. Suddenly JackyLin sits behind me and starts talking to me. He asked me what was wrong and stuff. Then Michelle asked me if i was okay. So i was like "Uh..yea." And she was like "I know." So i said "About..what?" And she says "About Auxi and you guys." So i ask her how she knows and she tells me that Auxi told her. So i said "Oh." Then she says "So you're okay with it?" "Okay with what?" "The friendship ending..." I didn't even answer her after that. That's bullshit and none of her damn business.

So lunch, me and Mimi basically sit in the middle of the quad reading my emo quotes. I just skipped the friendship ones. They're bullshit anyway.

In Physics, it was pretty chill today. Went in with a bad mood but Wilson is too funny. I was shoving pennies down his shirt and messing up his 'scientific calculations' trying to do the lab.xD The way he says "Oh my god." Is HILARIOUS. I love trying to imitate him but its like..impossible.

We walk by each other like we don't know each other... Like we never even met...

So afterschool, Me and Mimi go to Balboa Park and talk for a long while about..her and how our friendship feels so..dead. Then we go to pick up my sister and eat at ABC cause her mom wasn't home and she didn't have keys to her own house. -fp- So we go eat at ABC and then i take my passport picture. I laugh at how ugly it is. I had to clip my bangs away from my face.D: '

Then, after that, we went to Safeway and i mooched a hair tie for Mimi. LMAO. Then we mooched some food thing but it was nasty so i spit it our. LOL. Then we got a grape. We pay, then my mom drives her home. Trust me, it was more fun than it sounded.xD

Song Lyric of the Day:
"I've got the gift of one liners, you've got the curse of curves."

Fun Day &my new schedule.>:)

I'll explain the title later on.
So i woke up this morning and got into the shower. Blahblah. Ate RICE for breakfast. LMAO. Urm then went to school. Saw Mimi on the 8x and i caught up with the bus by WALKING. Haha thanks Ms.Ramirez.:D So we walk to school talking about stuuff. We get to school and Auxi comes a minute or so later with her boyfriend.

The bell rings and we go to Mimi's locker them my locker. Then we go to class. English was normal, the same as always. Had to do poems and such.

Geometry, Jason got moved to the table where i used to be. Where Mimi sits in 6th. Haha. So me and Sophia made a Patrick doll thing. Like how we did with Jason. LMAO. We were hiding it from Mr.Ellet so he couldn't blackmail me anymore.xD With the normal black jokes to him and everything. It was overall very fun.:D

Homeroom.. I don't remember what happened. Oh yea, i just read the whole time. I was actually quiet.:0

Spanish, we had to tell our partners food thingies and we learned how to use the verb 'gustar' with a noun. Yep, that class went by quicker than usual.

Then lunch, me and Mimi went to the middle of the quad to talk about things. Till Cary joined us, then Leslie and them came too. Cary was digging through Mimi's backpack and found a oldass rice crispy. Crispie? Crispy i think. LOL. So we opened it and i stepped on it. I tried to flip it over but it was stuck to the floor. Cary found a pack of Hello Panda in his backpack so we used the box thingy to cover the rice crispy. Then we ran away. LOLOL.

In gym, we were practicing juggling. I swear, i got soo hot. I was sweating and i was so tired like i just ran.xD I swear, and i STILL can't juggle.D:< But i think i got better. I can do three balls now. Well, i know how. I just cant to it. Mimi is hella pro.D: Soon, my head really hurted and i felt like i was going to throw up.D:LOL Dude, is juggling that tiring?xD I swear, i was covered in sweat.D:

Physics is actually fun now. Cause Vicente and Wilson are hella funny, i swear. Wilson is so damn funny in an annoying way. The way he says "Oh my god." is hilarious. He goes "OH My god." With the 'OH' hella loud then the My' softer and just a normal 'god'. LOL. He has me saying it like that too. Its funny how he never does his work but he knows all the answers. LOL. I swear, he saves me and Vicente's lives. And Ashley.. she just doesn't belong in our group. Like no offense, i have nothing against her. But she's really quiet and she seems annoyed by us all the time. Which annoys me endlessly. I swear to god, she should be moved out of our table. No offense Ashley but GTFO.(:

Haha so anyway, we all made jokes and such. It was all very fun. Ms.Yoshi constantly told me to STFU. Haha. So after, i started saying that i has Ms.Dave's class third period. Cause HE has that period. And i got into this whole jumbly mess. He kept saying that i was mentally retarded, LOLOL. I'm so hurt that hoe made fun of me. Hahaha. IHY Wilson. That hoe doesn't believe im in Geometry. LOLOL.

Okay, i got this. My schedule.

Pre-Period.
Mr.Ellet & Ms.Luchev GEOMETRY.

1st Period
Ms.Lam ENGLISH

2nd Period
Mr.Gray GYM
(LOLOL. I remember our convo about this. "Oh yea? What did we do today?" "Crossword puzzles." "NOO. We did WORDSEARCH. Stupid. Get a life.") LMFAO.

3rd Period
Ms.Dave ENGLISH (again LOL this is my 'language' cause i chose my second language as English. "Oh so. I speak English and English. IM BILINGUAL.(sp?) LOL)

4th Period
Mr.something BAND.
(LOLOL. I play the tromBONER xD)

5th Period
Mr.Pepper HEALTH.
(Wilson- "ME TOOO." "What did we do today?" "Ate fruit...and stuff. DUH." "You stupidshit! We didn't HAVE 5th period today." LMFAO"

6th Period
Ms.Yoshi PHYSICS.

Sigh, I'm growing to love Physics again. Despite the fact that HE'S in that class. I love my group. I'm still not looking forward to it but I'm not dreading it.

Song Lyric of the day:
"We're going on an adventure! We're going on an adventure!!" LOLOL Jk.
"I see you lying next to me. With words i thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead."

My day was nothing special.

So i woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. And it turns out that i blocked out my alarm clock the first time and turned it off without me even knowing. LOL. Sometimes i get so tired that i don't even remember i did shit.

Haha so anyway, i got ready. URG my eye is swollen but its not that noticeable so i don't think anyones gonna know. Especially cause i usually have my bangs over that eye... So i think ill be fine.:D

So i went to school, urm, saw Mimi and Auxi. Then Auxi said how she had to walk with Uju. Or was that Mimi...? I think it was Auxi, so i told her when i had to walk with her last time too.D: So we saw her and ran from her. LOL. Then the bell rang and me and Mimi went to my locker. So we walked to class and i wanted to see what class was Ms.Duh-Vay or whatever so i followed her. And dude, it looks so cold and unwelcoming.D:

So yea, i went to class and it was all normal. And DUDE. This guy, his last name is so sexy, i swear. You're probably wondering what it is. But let me start by saying i have NO attraction to him whatsoever. Its just that I'm in love with his last name. LOL. I'm going to take the chance. He'll probably never in a million years read this so I'm going to take a chance of him thinking I'm a crazy stalker. LOL I'm not!
Okay his last name is Armor or Armour. I don't know. It just sounds so haawt.

Okaay, uhm, everything else was normal. I don't know why i don't remember much. I remember telling me he got a referral cause he called Jammy a 'dumbshit' or something. LOL.

In Spanish, we did our favorite foods and such. Um yea..

At lunch, me and Mimi hung out and i forgot what happened. LOL. Um, we talked and asked people about what we did in gym. LOL everyone gave us different answers. Lol, hate them.xD Jacky was the only one that told us the truth.:0 We ran 15 laps. Well, walked the curve and ran the straight part. It was pretty easy compared to the shit we normally do.

Health, we had a sub cause Mr.Pepper left to...something about his son. So it was pretty funny cause of Jacky. LOL. Yea, afterschool, i saw Mimi and Auxi walking together and Mimi told me that she talked to Auxi. And we talked for a bit but it was still very akward.D:

So Mimi left with her brother and duude he's hecka big and scary. I was all like "Hi Mimi's brother!(:" LOL. So i walked with Clark and them for a bit. Urm, mom picked me up and we went to Walgreens to buy bug spray. She also bought us ICECREAM.:D We went home and i got my report card. Same shit as last time.. So i told my sister to give the report card to her while i blast my music so i couldn't hear her lecturing me.

Then blahblah..she made me take out the compost shit and its freaking RAINING outside. So i was bitching and when i came back she told me to close the damn door when my mom was already gonna leave. So I'm like "Whats the damn point if shes gonna leave?" and they said some shit and i slammed the door and told my mom to go die. I don't know if she heard be but she was yelling at me about some shit. I totally blanked out on what it is though.

Yea and here i am. I'm so tired. I'm like falling asleep but i know if i do sleep, i won't do my homework.D: So I'm trying to finish. And sigh, i have hiccups.D:

Song Lyric of the day:
"Cause she's amazing and that's why i sing. Oh, my hearts beating fast cause i know this will last and I'm never letting go of her."

I hate you, Ms.Yoshi.(:

LOL. Okay so I've been having a lot of "I hate..." titles lately. Blame my PMS kaay? Haha so anyway. Ms.Yoshi is my Physics teacher. She is such a pushover. Like she doesn't give a crap about anything. And people take advantage of that. But that hoe decides to single me out and call my mom to tell her that i was a good student but i talk waay too much.

So since my mom's Asian, of course she only heard the part that i talk wayy too much. And she called me right away to bitch at me for it. -sigh- I hate you Ms.Yoshi. Everyone in your damn class talks. Like Isaiah, Nick, Kendrick, and those bitches. Why don't you call THEIR mommy. Jesus. Go fuck yourself.

Okay? Okay.

"But wheres your heart?"

Counting the days till i leave &ants.

I am currently blasting my music so i cant hear all the shit they say about me. I add in a "OKAY!" or "Whatever." from here to there. Its funny cause sometimes, theyre like "Im not even TALKING to you." LOL.

And my stupid sister doesnt have the guts to say shit to my face. She goes crying to my mom. Swear to god, sometimes i feel like slitting their throat. But thats not very smart of me, is it? My grandma complains that i never spend 'time' with the family. Thats cause if i do, i end up just sitting there as the 'family' laughs and does their own shit. so whats the damn point? Either that, or i find myself yelling and screaming at them.

So i figure that if i dont speak to them, i dont do anything wrong. I guess not becuase my grandma complains that i dont communicate with them. And i dont act like im part of the family. Thats cause in my mind, im not.

Okay anyway. So we found ants in our house.D: Ewww. I know. I know. Me and my sister are stepping on then and sweeping them. I swear to god, eww. So we're cleaning and killing. How fun.

This weekend, i stayed home the whole time. I dont think i even left the house. No wait, i did. To throw out he trash and get the mail and such. I want my report card. But it hasnt come yet. I have a feeling they mailed it to our old house again. -sigh-But i hate getting my report card. I seem to cry like every time. Even if i say and act like i dont care to my mom. Cause she would just say, "Why didnt you just get better grades then? You never do any work" If i didnt do any work. Wouldnt i get like straight F's. Dumbshit.

Alright bye.

"But wheres your heart?"

I hate being a girl.

I hate being a girl. I hate having periods freaking every month. I hate the pain that they bring. I hate how boys can control our feelings. I hate the pressure we have to be perfect or pretty or hot or whatever. I hate how you're either popular or you're a social reject. I think being popular is waay to overrated. Its pretty much stupid.

Okay, the whole point of this was suppose to be PMSing. I hate it. I hate it so much. Period, can you just come already? You're giving me like freaking random emotions and its making me feel so bipolar. Right this minute, i feel like i want to cry. A few minutes ago, i was pissed off. -sigh- So please come already so i can get it over with. Boys will never know the pain we go through. All they do is fuck girls. They don't know the consequences. Because they can always walk away. The girl cant. Not if she has a baby in her. Okay, i don't know how i got into this but yea..

But one issue has been weighing on my mind. I don't really know how i should start this. Well, we used to be so close. You, Mimi, and me. We used to be inseparable. But nowadays, i feel like you've centered your life around your boyfriend. And i really want things to go back to the way they were before. Yea, we still care about you and want you to be happy. But you're doing it again. You're falling too hard too fast. I understand that you guys are in the 'honeymoon' phase but its gotten to the point that we feel the distance between us. I don't know if you feel it but its killing us. Its killing our friendship. I hope you know what you're doing.

We miss you. The old you. The one who was always there for us. The one who would actually take the time to listen to our problems even though yours is waay worse. I guess that boys do change girls. I hate those girls who leave everything behind when they have a boyfriend. Then come back when they break up. Our connection is like gone. Sometimes, the old you shines through and that's what keeps me holding on. Please tell me that I'm not waiting for nothing.

The point is, we miss you. And we hope you get back to reality soon. We'll let you have your fun. Bye.
Remember "High school isn't about finding your husband. Its about finding your maids of honor."

I don't feel like blogging anymore... So till next time.(:

Song Lyric of the day:
"Burning down while I'll be your favorite lie. Packing all my things I'm leaving YOU behind."

Uju needs to back the fuck up. &mydayy.

So i woke up at 7:05-ish. I ran into the shower and got out like just in time. But my hair was fucked up today. Well, anyway. I continued on my way to school. Took the 88. When i got off, i saw Uju so i started to walk faster. But soon, i hear her freaking running to me. Yes, running. Then she put one arm around me and squeezed me to her. Then she started talking to me like we were BFFs.-__- She asked me if Mimi was upset and i was like um yea ok. She started talking to me about random shit and i just played along and laughed with her. I'm so glad I'm good at acting. Or I'd be screwed and would be seen as a bitch. And when she talks to me, she freaking touches me. Swear to god. That's so annoying.-__-

Okay, anyway, i get to school and rant about Uju to people and blahblah. The bell rung and Auxi still wasn't there. We thought she was going to be late.D: But we didn't call her cause we thought she was with her 'boyfriend'.

So we went to class. Blah blah. Did poem shit. Okay bye.

We didn't have second period today so we went to gym. We did the mile run and i ran like 4 and a half laps straight. But then i stopped cause i couldn't do it anymore. We had to do it in under 10:00. I got 10:10. FML. Ms.Ramirez was all like "Why did you stop? Everyone else got under 10 minutes." Im just like... i had no strength to retaliate. And even if i did, i wouldn't, because come on, its Ms.Ramirez. She might make me run 5 more laps. Then we did juggling and she helped me and Mimi on it. But she gave up on me cause i hella failed. LOL. Mimi's hella good and that hoe wont teach me. But i must admit, Ms.Ramirez helped me. But shes scary as hell.D: Mimi says that her smile is like a grimace. LOL.

Um Spanish..i forgot what happened. Started a new unit and we're learning about food now.xD Like our favorite food. Haha.

Lunch...i forgot what happened. Ha. Tried to socialize more but failed...

Health was pretty good. We learned about depression. Its sad how much of the symptoms relate to me. I think i have bipolarness. Cause the symptoms seem like mine. Hyper at moments, then some moments, i just don't have energy to get out of bed or do anything. Randomly depressed even though i really don't have a good reason. That explains me so much. I can be so high sometimes and sometimes, i don't want to get out of bed or do anything. I should get that checked... I don't like going to health. I'm uncomfortable with us talking about depression. We had two situations about depressed people and we had to write they should do. All i could think of is "I don't know.. Kill themselves?" -sigh-

Then physics was funny, as usual. Messed with Wilson and talked to Vicente. Did the lab thing and i almost got a referral for hitting people with meter sticks.D: But she forgot like a second later.xD

After school, i walked with JackyLin halfway and left him to go back home. I gave him a hug and Coco walked past us so i was like "Coco's right there.Let go of me." But he was just like "So?" And pulled me closer. Haha. That jerk.xD So i talked to daughter and Cary for a little bit and i stepped or almost stepped in dogpoop. FML.LOL. Then i saw Mimi and her mom. Haha. Then my mom picked me up and now I'm home.

My mom makes me want to stab her. URG come on period! COME ALREADY.-__- I'm getting annoyed with like everybody and everything.): I hate my sister. Why did she have to mention HIM. Why HIM? -__-

Song Lyric of the day:
"I don't love you, like i did, yesterday.."

Borreed. Rants about random shit.

-sigh- I'm suppose to be doing English homework right now. But i don't feeeel like it. So I'm here blogging about nothing. Lalala... This is my fourth post of the day. Lol. I wonder who reads these things... Whatever.

I'm feeling like the rain comes with the pain. I like bright sunny days, even though the rain is beautiful. It gives a very relaxing sound when it hits my umbrella. And walking in the rain when your sad.<3

Nobody is updating their blooooggggg.D:

Okay. Let me rant on my social life. I swear to god, i need new friends. Not NEW friends but more friends. What would i ever do if Mimi and Auxi weren't here. I'm trying to hang out with more people and get more social. I don't think I'm that kind of person. I've had plenty of friends before. I drifted apart from them and stayed with Auxi and Mimi. I mean, that's the bad part about getting too close to someone. You may leave all your other friends behind. I'm sorry guys.

Now I'm trying to find a balance, you know? Like not ALWAYS being with them two. 24/7. People always assume whatever we do, its with each other. And its true but its kinda sad that other people know that we're thaat close. It feels like they're saying that you have no other friends. Maybe its my PMSing that I'm overthinking these things.

I don't get along with girls well. They are too dramatic and annoying. They are all over a guy the second they get near them. And of course, the guy you were talking to forgets he was talking to you and pays attention to the needy girl. Maybe having friends isn't even worth the trouble.

I'm trying to make a balance of my friends and not be with the same person or people EVERY time. I really need a balance.-__-

Something seems off about Auxi lately. I don't know what it is, but then again, i never asked. She's been trying to skip class a lot lately. When Mimi told me that she wanted to skip again, i couldn't help but to roll my eyes. I personally think that PJ is a bad influence on her but how should i know. He means no more to me than my bestfriend's boyfriend. Nothing more.Nothing less. Simply my bestfriend's boyfriend. I rather not even have a conversation with him until they actually last for a while. Whats the point? He'll be gone in half a year, at the most.

Okay byebye.

"The boys and girls in the clique. The awful names that they stick. You're never gonna fit in much, kid. But if you're troubled and hurt, what you've got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did."

Depression in the real world.

Warning: This post is kinda long.xD

Dedicated for all the people who suffer from problems. The depressed, the insecure, the social rejects... You're not alone.

This subject came up from the video we watched in health class. It's called "Surviving High School". Being a teenager is really hard. Why do adults think we have it soo easy. That its all fun and games. ITS NOT. We deal with more stuff than you probably dealt with then you were in high school.

The pressure to be perfect, the pressure to fit in, the pressure to be somebody else just to please their peers. How many times have you ever wanted to tell someone "You don't know me." I know i have. People tell me "Why are you being so emo? Its not you." HAH. And you think you KNOW me? You really think you understand me. Do i not know myself better than you do? I think i do and i STILL haven't found myself.

I don't know who i am. I'm in a strangers body. I look in the mirror and ask myself "Who is that?". Sometimes, i don't even want to look in the mirror. I'm afraid of what I'll find. I just don't like how i look. I just don't. You can tell me I'm pretty. Everyone in the whole world can tell me I'm pretty and i wont believe you. No matter what you say. Of course, I'll give a little smile and modestly say 'thank you'. Of course.

A lot of people don't like how they look. I blame the media. They have this image of how girl should be, how they should look and how they should act. Lets face it, I'll never be pretty. Or as pretty as them, if that makes you feel better. I blame the boys. They judge girls. They say who are 'hot' and who are 'ugly' or 'hurt'. Its not fair. Its not fair. Its just not fair.

I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a happy person. Even if you think i am, I'm not. I do put up an act in front of people so they don't have to be worried. I rather be alone than to be surrounded by friends. But id like to know i have someplace to be alone. Like have a lot of people surrounding me. I'll just be sitting there, off in my own world. I'm already alone. In my mind i am.

Why is it that people want to be me? Trust me, you don't. You might want my life. It may seem less troubled than other people. But its the emotional battle i fight. My heart is always putting myself down. I feel like my heart is always aching. And there's something missing. I could surround myself with the things I've always wanted. I can have a million friends. I'll still feel miserable. I cant accept myself. So go ahead, take my life. You just don't want my mind, heart, or soul.

People have eating disorders. They are unhappy with their body. The media portrays that the perfect girl has to have a small waist and have to be really thin. Why is that people think I'm anorexic or bulimic(sp?). I know you're kidding but my heart certainly doesn't take it that way. Of course, I'll smile and laugh along with your sick little joke. But what if you said that to someone who has a eating disorder. How would they feel? They're only doing it so people like you would think they re pretty. You're the reason they're killing themselves. Yep, YOU. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really have to make someone else feel bad just cause you don't like what you see? At least do it in your mind. Don't hurt them. They might feel the same way as you.

People do suffer from depression. It's an illness. Its certainly nothing to joke about. Don't call someone 'emo' because they're depressed. Stop abusing the meaning. Stop abusing the word. Stop assuming everyone who is depressed cuts themselves. What if they do? Then you tease them about it, but you don't know. That happened to me. "Oh I'm emo. Let's go cut ourselves." -makes hand motions pretending to cut yourself- I laughed, but inside, i wanted to rip your arm off.

You just CANT be depressed or 'emo'. Its not socially acceptable. You're either 'popular' or you're dead. I honestly don't care. I'll feel alone either way. I'm an outcast and a loner but i guess its fine. Why can't everyone be welcome. How come they only accept people who act or dress or look a certain way. It sucks.

It really pissed me off that when we were watching the video. Some people actually laughed at the people who go through the shit. They were there laughing. I almost cried. I just thought of how the world really doesn't care. They only care about themselves. Selfish bastards. They haven't reached a level of maturity yet. Even Jacky made fun of some of the people. They are getting annoying really fast.

Okay bye Thanks for reaading.

"The boys and girls in the clique. The awful names that they stick. You're never gonna fit in much, kid. But if you're troubled and hurt, what you've got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did."

This song is so awesome that i need to post more of the lyrics up.
"They say that teenagers scare the living shit outta me. They could care less, as long as someone'll bleed. So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose. Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me."

PMSing? &depression.

I don't feel like blogging about my day so lets get this over with.
First Period- Nothing.Went by pretty quickly, as always.

Second Period- Racist jokes about Patrick.

Homeroom- Watched Jammy, Carmen, Jacky, Anna, and Vinson play cards while i did Ramirez hw and studied a bit.

Third Period- Spanish Test.

Lunch- Lunch was okay. Hung out with the booyss.(: I don't know what Mimi and Auxi did but whatever. I looked for them.. Well by looked i mean i asked people where they were. Actually, i don't remember if i did that. I think i did. But anyway, they weren't there so i hung back out with the boys.(:

Fifth Period-Surviving High School video. It really spoke to me.

Sixth Period- Sat at my own table. I'm starting to think its waaayy funner. Cause Wilson is so fucking funny. We talked about Pokemon in a really dirty way that related to sex. LOL. I said i would pee on Wilson's face and he said it was hot. Talked about how Ms.Yoshi was hot and Wilson said that her wrinkles turn him on. LOL. Talked to them a bit about my penis, made fun of Wilson's penis. Told him that we don't accept people with small penises at our table but he wouldn't leave.LOL. Ms.Yoshi says i talk too much.xD I kept blaming it on Wilson and she ended up blaming him. LOLOL. I poked Wilson's ass with a meter stick. He was all like, "Stop, lets talk about this. What do you want? Money? What is it?" LMAO. Then i poked in between his legs and his face was priceless. He told me that i hit his right ball sack. LMFAO, I fell to the floor laughing. "If you went any further, it would've EXPLODED." LOLOL.

I thought that Physics would be horrible cause i was really not in a good mood today. But they make Physics fun. Even when HE is there. LOL. Auxi looked sad.):

Afterschool, Auxi was sad or mad or whatever but then her boyfriend was with her so whatever. Kendrick asked me something. No and No thanks, is my answer. Went to wait for the 29 in the rain. Soon, bestfriend and them came over. I smiled for them cause i thought Brendan was going to ask me what was wrong. There was Jason, Brendan, Bryan, and the other Jason. We got on the 29 and they all started getting off. When Bryan got off, i yelled "I love you,Bryan!" LOL but he didn't do anything, making me look like an idiot. Jason saw his girlfriend, his cousin, his brother, and his auntie. LOL AND there was this blackguy there. And he (or so we thought) smelled like weed. So we started talking about 'him' in Chinese. LOL. "That hak gwai stinks so bad." Then Jason reminded me that i went out with a hak gwai. Then eventually, 'he' got off and left 'his' umbrella. I told Brendan in Chinese that he left his umbrella and he was like 'I'm not gonna tell him." LOL. Then 'he' got back on and was like "Did i leave my umbrella?" AND DUDE. It wasn't a guy. Me and Brendan were hella surprised. I laughed so hard. I swear, we all thought it was a guy. He even had the thing he was smoking in his damn hand. He was fucking smoking weed. LOL i keep calling HER a he. Dammit. It looks likes a guy okay? LOL now I'm calling HER an it.xD

Me and Brendan started talking about stuff. I looked up words in my Spanish dictionary and told him that I'd transfer to his Spanish period. Cause they always win.D: Um, eventually i got off and my mom brought me to ABC to eat. Yea..

So the depression part. After i watched the High School Survival thing, it really spoke to me because all these things really do happen. Eh, I'll write about this in another blog.

I think I'm PMSing..or about to. I am laughing and joking with you one second then i want to stab you the next. Everything is really annoying to me right now. A lot of things I'm not going to mention. My sister and my mom annoy the hell out of me. Some people at school do too. I just try not to roll my eyes or give them attitude.

Just a warning, if i bitch at you. Its not my fault. Its my PMSing. Just don't be annoying. Don't touch me, don't CLING ON ME. Don't talk about things you know i don't care about. Don't joke around. Don't tease me. Whatever..

Song Lyric of the day:
"The boys and girls in the clique. The awful names that they stick. You're never gonna fit in much, kid. But if you're troubled and hurt, what you've got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did."