Finally giving up...

It's a new year, i tried to be happy for the past two months. But i failed miserably so I'm starting tomorrow. Forget the past. No more crying about that. I do admit that you caused me the most painful week of my life so far. But i forgive you. I wished that i still had that desire to try. I used to have something telling me "Don't give up. She'll come around. Don't give up." Its gone now. I think i killed it..

Now i see that i have nothing to hold on to anymore. Nothing. All my hope is gone. I do still care about you. But good things fall apart so better things can fall together. And i can see that a lot of good things are happening for you since we left your life. You became closer to Kaylla, Michelle, Ashley, and PJ. It almost seems like you're happier. So its only fair that we be happy too right? Right?

Well then, I'm finally giving up. And its really hard to do so. Because you were the first real bestfriend i ever had. I never cried so much or so hard. But i feel like i don't care anymore. Like something telling me that i deserve to be happy? It'll be hard to live my life knowing that we would never be the way we were before but i guess i have to move on. Life keeps spinning, its not slowing down for anyone. So you live your life the way you'd like to and i do the same for mine. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you for the good moments that we had. The memories still make me smile...or cry. I really wished that everything would be better. That I'd wake up and its all a dream. But reality hit me. It's not the same. It never will be. So i guess you're just going to be another person i know. Another person i KNEW. Its really sad because its not the same.

I don't know what you want me to do. I really still want to hold on. But all it gets me is pain because it seems like you're not giving me anything to hold on two. Three little words may do it though. The three simple words, "Don't give up." Cause i don't want to. But i don't want to keep holding on if its not going to get better.

Sorry for being a bother. Sorry for showing up in your life. Sorry we ever talked. Sorry we ever became friends. Sorry we ever met...

So goodbye to you. An exbestfriend. I still love you. I still care for you. We just grew apart and our friendship just doesn't feel natural anymore. I shouldn't have just assumed that you were really my friend. I shouldn't have assumed that you'd be here through anything and everything. I shouldn't have assumed anything. Because boys ruin relationships. I learned that the hard way.

Goodbye and best of luck in life...

"You can take back your misery."