Depression in the real world.

Warning: This post is kinda long.xD

Dedicated for all the people who suffer from problems. The depressed, the insecure, the social rejects... You're not alone.

This subject came up from the video we watched in health class. It's called "Surviving High School". Being a teenager is really hard. Why do adults think we have it soo easy. That its all fun and games. ITS NOT. We deal with more stuff than you probably dealt with then you were in high school.

The pressure to be perfect, the pressure to fit in, the pressure to be somebody else just to please their peers. How many times have you ever wanted to tell someone "You don't know me." I know i have. People tell me "Why are you being so emo? Its not you." HAH. And you think you KNOW me? You really think you understand me. Do i not know myself better than you do? I think i do and i STILL haven't found myself.

I don't know who i am. I'm in a strangers body. I look in the mirror and ask myself "Who is that?". Sometimes, i don't even want to look in the mirror. I'm afraid of what I'll find. I just don't like how i look. I just don't. You can tell me I'm pretty. Everyone in the whole world can tell me I'm pretty and i wont believe you. No matter what you say. Of course, I'll give a little smile and modestly say 'thank you'. Of course.

A lot of people don't like how they look. I blame the media. They have this image of how girl should be, how they should look and how they should act. Lets face it, I'll never be pretty. Or as pretty as them, if that makes you feel better. I blame the boys. They judge girls. They say who are 'hot' and who are 'ugly' or 'hurt'. Its not fair. Its not fair. Its just not fair.

I'm not a perfect person. I'm not a happy person. Even if you think i am, I'm not. I do put up an act in front of people so they don't have to be worried. I rather be alone than to be surrounded by friends. But id like to know i have someplace to be alone. Like have a lot of people surrounding me. I'll just be sitting there, off in my own world. I'm already alone. In my mind i am.

Why is it that people want to be me? Trust me, you don't. You might want my life. It may seem less troubled than other people. But its the emotional battle i fight. My heart is always putting myself down. I feel like my heart is always aching. And there's something missing. I could surround myself with the things I've always wanted. I can have a million friends. I'll still feel miserable. I cant accept myself. So go ahead, take my life. You just don't want my mind, heart, or soul.

People have eating disorders. They are unhappy with their body. The media portrays that the perfect girl has to have a small waist and have to be really thin. Why is that people think I'm anorexic or bulimic(sp?). I know you're kidding but my heart certainly doesn't take it that way. Of course, I'll smile and laugh along with your sick little joke. But what if you said that to someone who has a eating disorder. How would they feel? They're only doing it so people like you would think they re pretty. You're the reason they're killing themselves. Yep, YOU. Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really have to make someone else feel bad just cause you don't like what you see? At least do it in your mind. Don't hurt them. They might feel the same way as you.

People do suffer from depression. It's an illness. Its certainly nothing to joke about. Don't call someone 'emo' because they're depressed. Stop abusing the meaning. Stop abusing the word. Stop assuming everyone who is depressed cuts themselves. What if they do? Then you tease them about it, but you don't know. That happened to me. "Oh I'm emo. Let's go cut ourselves." -makes hand motions pretending to cut yourself- I laughed, but inside, i wanted to rip your arm off.

You just CANT be depressed or 'emo'. Its not socially acceptable. You're either 'popular' or you're dead. I honestly don't care. I'll feel alone either way. I'm an outcast and a loner but i guess its fine. Why can't everyone be welcome. How come they only accept people who act or dress or look a certain way. It sucks.

It really pissed me off that when we were watching the video. Some people actually laughed at the people who go through the shit. They were there laughing. I almost cried. I just thought of how the world really doesn't care. They only care about themselves. Selfish bastards. They haven't reached a level of maturity yet. Even Jacky made fun of some of the people. They are getting annoying really fast.

Okay bye Thanks for reaading.

"The boys and girls in the clique. The awful names that they stick. You're never gonna fit in much, kid. But if you're troubled and hurt, what you've got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did."

This song is so awesome that i need to post more of the lyrics up.
"They say that teenagers scare the living shit outta me. They could care less, as long as someone'll bleed. So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose. Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me."