)':

I feel like if i could cry, i would feel so much better. But the tears and the emotion won't come pouring out. This is the problem with disconnecting your emotions. You just can't cry. Believe me, I've been trying to let it all out for days, but I feel incapable of it. I wish i could, i think all the stress would come out and I'd feel so much better than i do now. Right now, it's like i can feel it building it. It's building, building, and i don't know when, but i know it's gonna explode. I'm gonna explode and have a hardcore breakdown. Lovely.

This is an even worse feeling. I've been feeling absolutely horrible.