Hello 2011.(:

So it seems like all the girls these days have big insecurities and low self esteem. Also, they all seem to be depressed and everything. It's like it's the new 'cool' thing to be. That sounds mean of me but really, it seems like everyone's trying to exaggerate their problems for sympathy. But me, being me, i always have to go against the crowd.

I'm more confident than ever. I don't know where that insecure, shy, little girl that i used to be went, but i don't miss her. Now, i am so much more grown up and aware. Am i happy? I don't know. But I'd like to hope i will achieve that in the new year. I've grown so much in 2010. I said i would make it "my year" but it's been more of a 'finding myself' year, which i desperately needed. It taught me so much. I was lost. I was confused. I didn't know what to do with myself. I've become extremely happy with myself this year. Now that I've found myself, in 2011, i can focus on being happy and making it "my year". I know it may be hard, but I'm determined.

I thought 2010 was a waste of time, but now I'm realizing that it was a much needed journey to understand who i am and who I'm becoming. I can't say i haven't changed. Damn, i changed a lot. Especially recently. So how is it that I've discovered who i was but changed myself so much? I don't know, but I'm a better person so it doesn't matter. I've grown up a lot. Maybe a little too much for my liking. I feel like I'm more mature than everyone in my grade/around my age. I feel like I'm doing much bigger things while they're still a step behind. Is it wrong to feel that way? Well, it can't be helped. I feel like I have a mindset of a 17 year old.

I'm beginning to realize what i want, what i need, and what makes me happy. I've realized that i am beautiful- absolutely gorgeous. I'm amazing. I'm fun to be around. I'm funny. And that i deserve nothing but the very best because i try my best in everything i want to do. I'm absolutely, without a doubt, good enough. I'm turning into the person I've always wanted to be. Talented. Beautiful. Confident. Driven. Different. Passionate. I may have not imagined myself like this when i was a 7 year old, but little Jessica would still be proud.

This year went by too fast, but i don't think I'll miss it. It was i guess an important 'filler' year. It definitely opened my eyes, but i wouldn't want to relive it. I've realized a lot and that is going to help 2011 be even better.

I still have goals for myself:

• Get better grades/keep my grades up.
• Try to understand and get along with my fellow classmates/ 'friends'.
• Do more community service!
• Stay committed to everything.
• Continue acting on my interests and passions.
• Make a contribution to something important.
• Start playing my guitar and not quit again! 
• Try new things. 
• Curse less/watch my language.
• Try to have faith in people again. 
• Open myself up and reconnect my heart again and risk the chance of getting hurt. Never mind. Don't count on it.
• Be happy.
• Stop judging people.
• Spend more time and get closer with family. 
• Be more truthful.
• Continue growing as a person, artist, ect.
• Stay strong and be positive.
• Be a better person. 

I'm ready to take on the world. Me against everyone. Let's go.