Final performance. Utterly amazing.

I just wanna get school over with so I can perform. First period was good, I'm an attention whore. Me and James's competition to clap first. LOL. Every other class was stupid. I'm so excited and dreading the performance. I also found out that all of the CAST students are required to go. Ohmagawd. Niggashitt. Not only cause the nervousness and cause I'm unprepared but because it's the last night of OoS. How the hell do I survive without it? I don't even know. Just thinking about tonight gives me major butterflies and It feels like I'm gonna be sick. Feels like I wanna throw up or something. Omg. .__.

Where to even begin with my night? Well, i got there and started working right away. Then Christian and Jack came in. I looked right at Jack and didn't think much of it until I'm like "JACK!" and ran to him. Omg!! He promised he'll join next session. Yesyesyes! It was rough. Everyone needed us all at once. Freddie needed us. Alfie needed us. Amy needed us. We needed to finish travel map and everything. Omg. Drummed. My gosh, i played so intensely, for the first time ever, i got a blister. Or it's going to be a blister. It hurt so bad. Ran backstage and ran through our show with Freddie. Christian kept trying to touch my hand to make it feel better but it stung so bad every time it came in contact with something. Got some tape and taped it up cause Jack told me to. It worked. Thanks.(:

Talked and introduced and stuff. Drummed outside. "You're gonna wake up the hobos!" LOL! They actually did come out and watch us. Theater class performed. Omg. I messed up once but no one noticed. Maybe twice. LOL. Did the improv scene. That was the only thing i was nervous about, the improv. It went pretty well though. Everyone wanted to stop at the part Christian slaps me. Ahaha. That lady who saved me. <3 LOLOL. John, i yelled at him. Cause he apologized and shit after the slap. I guess i went too harsh on him. It was just acting. Don't worry.(: LOOLOL. After the show, everyone told us what a good job we did. My gosh. It was amazing. I can't describe to you the feeling that i felt when someone told me i was good, or amazing, or did a fantastic job. This was my first theater performance on stage and so i had my doubts. Thanks so much, you guys.

Talked to Jack and ate icecream. Stupid Christian was all taunting me, going like "Lick it. Mhmm." LMFAO. When he called all the YAB members on stage, i didn't move at first, then i was like "Oh yeah! ME." LOL. I was eating my icecream on stage and Jack was embarrassing me, going like "Tastes good, huh?" And Stacy- "Lick ittt." LOL. You guise. ._. XD Saw Marcus! He told me i did amazing and asked if it was my first time acting on stage. I said yes and he told me that I fit so well in Out of Site. That means a lot to me coming from someone as talented as you, thankyou. Helped clean up and stuff after. Fredward gave all of us a rose. Oh my. It's so obvious that he cares about his students. But he gave me a B-, C+ when it came to following instructions and staying on tasks. I know though. I know. I cannot wait to join you again next year, along with Jessica, Mireya, Lexi, Eli, and Stacy. Christian is ditching us.): Ahah. Got extra foood. Yumyum. Got to take some home.

I hate to say this, but i actually had those thoughts again The "What is worth living for?" "They'd be better off without me." "Just put me out of my misery." thoughts. And after tonight, I feel great. Or at least, much better than i was before. Theater has saved me. Out of Site has saved me. And this, all this, this is what i should live for. I actually talked to Christian about how i felt- that's rare. I don't talk to anybody about how i feel. He just held me and told me he was there to talk whenever. Thank you. You make me feel so much better, really.

My mama just said she was proud of me.(So did James! Ahahah.) That's all i ever wanted.

Tonight is so amazing. I can't describe with words how amazing tonight was. I don't even have a synonym for amazing. Just indescribable. I'm still getting 'Good jobs'. I feel so on top of the world. What a great way to end the session. I'm so excited for next session. I already miss it.