Confidence.

I have a confidence problem.

At times, I can be extremely confident and cocky. Times like those, my ego is much too big for my head. I believe that I'm the best and everything. But other times, i have major issues with my self-esteem. I will state something, then second guess it. I have to always have to hear from someone else that I'm right or if my idea is good. I need reassurance just to feel alright about myself.

For example, i was talking to my mom about my future. I broke down crying (not in front of her, of course) because i don't think I'll amount to much. That's why i don't talk about my future. I can't even answer the question "What do you wanna do when you grow up?" I don't have an answer to the question. Not even a slight clue. They say "It's okay. You have time." But it's not okay. And no, i don't have time. I'm trying to keep up with a world that's spinning way too fast and has no intention of waiting for me, or anybody, for that matter.

There's never a balance. I'm either way too cocky, or extremely insecure.